Saturday, October 20, 2007

Rudy Giuliani, Klingons, and Values Voters

Rudy Giuliani has just lost any chance of winning the vote of a true DC Comictician and disciple of Star Trekiology. In fact, the Elders have decided to open a file on him to see if there are any connections between Giuliani and the Legion of Doom.

Apparently, a child asked the former NYC mayor if we were prepared to defend ourselves against hostile space aliens to which he replied, "yes".

Has Giuliani lost his fuckin' mind? Has he been snorting crystal meth, smoking crack or what? There is no way that we would be able to defend ourselves against Borg, the Dominion, or a host of other powers encountered by Captain Kathryn Janeway and the USS Voyager in the Delta Quadrant. At this point, I doubt we'd even be able to fend off the Romulans. And the Klingons? Hell, our public schools can't even bother to teach our children speak their language or how to effectively wield a bat'leth.

Then there's the "values voters" who solely concern themselves with some superhero named God- a superhero who hasn't so much as lifted a figure to help Batman solve one the the Riddler's complicated puzzles or investigate the evil mind beams being directed at us from Gorilla Grodd. This election is going to be disaster for those of us who have discovered the Truth and accepted the fact that only through our Holy Starfleet Captains and our Heroes in the JLA can we find redemption.

The only way we're going to fight off aliens, Mr. Mayor, is to start by accepting Captain Jean Luc Picard into our hearts and placing our faith in the almighty wisdom of Starfleet Command. The sooner Giuliani and all those so-called "value voters" understand this, the sooner we can answer that young child's valid question by saying, "Yes! we are ready for a hostile alien invasion".

A Priestly Hat Tip to my good friends over at Tennessee Guerilla Women


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