Friday, January 11, 2008

A Prayer for Communication: Lieutenant Uhura

Good evening, friends. Let us bow our heads.

Our Lieutenant Uhura, who art aboard the Starship Enterprise, hallow be thy name. We shall forever praise you and your work in protecting this sector.

We ask that you will look over us and help guide through these perilous days as we patiently await the arrival of the Vulcans. And please, give us the strength to fight the urge to bash those choose to oppose your wisdom across the back of their heads with Bat'leths.

Please help us those of us who have found the Truth to talk with one another so that may always avoid those who would share their lot with the Borg. Guide us in the ways of communication so we too may one day be able to hail Starfleet Command and apprise them of our situations.

Lieutenant, we thank you. We thank you for relaying your messages to us so that those who dwell among us with Romulan-like ears will not be able hear the message that they wouldn't listen to anyway. We thank you for helping us to see the righteousness that is Starfleet Command and the plans laid out for us by our five Holy Starfleet Captains.

Please help us to one day serve with you under the command of Captain James T. Kirk so that we too can embark on a five year mission to explore strange new worlds to seek out new life and new civilizations.

In the name of the communications relay we pray to you,



Anne Johnson said...

I like her. I think I'll join up with you after all. My check is in the mail.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

I knew you would come around, Anne!

But please don't send money, the United Federation of Planets has abolished it.

Buzzardbilly said...

Anything in the name of the communications relay is a-okay with me.

Ananke said...

Is it blasphemy to ask what Lt. Uhura's first name is? Just something I always wondered about.

Elvis Drinkmo said...


Seeking out knowledge can never be considered blasphemy- unless seeking that knowledge means asking the leaders of this church difficult questions.

In this case, the question doesn't require too much messy, humanistic/secular thinking so your soul will be able to enter the Hall of Justice.

Lt. Uhura's first name is Uhura. She has no last name as is customary in some Federation cultures.

Click here for more info

Ananke said...

Ah, so she's like Madonna or Cher....only better. :-D

Juanuchis said...

Amen, and Starfleet out.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Thank you, Juanuchis.

That sounds so much better than amen. (A-"men" seems to leave out all the Klingons, Telarites, and Tholians who might want to partake in our rituals.)