Friday, February 15, 2008

Fatwa #10: Giving Alms

Fatwa: #10:

In order to see the Hall of Justice you must give 85% of all earned and non earned income to this church so that the leaders of this church can live more comfortably and drive nicer vehicles.

Another 10% must go to candidates seeking public office who support the rights of the ProtoUniverse and a constitutional amendment that would allow us to put Superman back in the classroom and train first grade children to fly from twelve story buildings with gliders so that they may better understand the Almighty Ways of the Batman.

This church graciously allows you to keep 5% of of your earnings after taxes to fulfill whatever earthly or multi-dimensional needs you to meet.

This fatwa includes any overtime you accrue and money you make by mowing your neighbor's lawn, selling your car, and having yard sales. Even children running lemon aid stands this summer must cough up 85% for us and 10% for our politicians unless their little souls fathom the idea of going straight to Arkham.

It Hath Been Declared. All Praise Be to the Black Canary for allowing us to make such infinitely wise decisions on behalf what we all know is right.



Malach the Merciless said...

Are you sure this isn't Scientology?

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Scientology? Is that some kind of philosophy founded by Hugo Strange?

Or do their comic books have cool pictures of scientists kicking people's asses and dragging them off by the hair to face justice in a court of law?

We've never heard of it. But whatever this Scientology is, it doesn't stack up to the wisdom of the JLA or the grace of the Black Canary.