Saturday, July 19, 2008

Why Our Faith is Better Than Yours Pt. 7

It's time for people to realize that we have the answers that the others don't. The facts are simple- we're right and you're wrong and you really need to just face it, unless you want to spend eternity writhing in pain within the walls of Arkham Asylum.

I mean listen, we aren't narrow-minded bigots. We just don't tolerate anyone who disagrees with us. People who want to believe differently than we do have every right to live and breath- just so long as they do it somewhere else. People use the word fundamentalist like it's a bad thing. But when you have the answers to everything that matters while they don't, why should you suffer their presence. People who don't believe that every word from the DC scriptures is literal truth are blights on the body of the JLA.

I tell you, folks. If loving the Batman is wrong, we don't want to be right.

Some people think that DC Comics are just comic books published for the entertainment of children, but they are much more than that. The DC Scriptures have laid out a path for you to follow, if you want to join your Heroes in the Hall of Justice.

In this world that is filled with Sinestro Corps sympathizers and Legion of Doom influences, one church stands out like a beacon on a hill for people who love righteousness and the pursuit of justice. That church is the First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets. All other churches just follow some god with no heat vision and chase abstract notions that won't bring you any closer to the Truth.

Isn't it time you heed the call of the Watchtower and embraced the love and wisdom that is offered to us daily by the Martian Manhunter?


Malach the Merciless said...

Just saw Dark Knight . . .Heath Ledger plays an awesome Joker

Anne Johnson said...

You've got a lot of followers, Rev. The movie theatre closest to my house was the scene of a riot the other night as everyone crowded in to see Batman at 12:01. Sadly, I didn't go. But I'm beginning to believe you're onto something.

JDB said...

Indeed, the theater, er, house of worship where the girlfriend and I saw The Dark Knight this afternoon was packed. There were even some "amens!" at the end.