Good evening, friends. Let us bow our heads.
Hallow be thy name. And blessed be those who await our souls in the Hall of Justice.
We ask you in the name of the Justice League to help speed our nation's recovery. Please grant your superpower of speed to the opposition to all these new economic programs which were undoubtedly hatched from the minds of Gorilla Grodd, the Trickster, and Captain Cold. For only you can understand the sinister motives behind these arch-criminals and the undo influence they have over our children and the impressionable minds of young adults. The new Rouges Gallery counterculture that has arisen over the past few decades to promote public indecency, immorality and the X-Men cannot endure.
Flash, we ask forgiveness for all those who have chosen ignore the lessons you've tried to teach us and instead look to the Punisher and the Fantastic Four for answers. We ask that you and your friends have mercy upon this nation which has turned the public sphere into a Legion of Doom hotbed for secular humanism, liberalism, Anime, and Marvel Comics and away from the moral fabric that can only be found within the teachings of the Justice League and the Justice Society.
Our Scarlet Speedster, we ask that you watch over us as you race back and forth across the planet fighting evil wherever it rears its ugly head. Just as the four men who donned the rightous costume befriended the Green Lantern's, we ask that you befriend those of us who believe that only the JLA can save us from our sinisters.
In Bart Allen's name we pray,