Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Stimulus Package Trojan Horse

In our last sermon, we ordered you to beware of "stimulus packages" and rebuilding our nation's infrastructure. I would like to take this opportunity to expand on our church's position about this liberal Legion of Doom and hostile Borg takeover we are experiencing in the United States.

First off, we know that the nonbelievers in congress have earmarked millions of tax payer dollars to go to the their favorite arch-criminal friends. Some want to channel money in to Luthor Corp technology still others are so in love with the Joker that they're willing to invest in Smilex Gas. All of this money is being earmarked to undermine the moral fabric of this country which was founded on the principles of DC Comics and Starfleet directives.

The Batman is watching.

Secondly, the "stimulus package" does not contain enough tax cuts for the wealthy. How are millionaires who strive to live their lives like Bruce Wayne and Ollie Queen going to fund new projects to become superheroes with government breathing down their necks all day. No one making over $500,000 a year should even pay taxes. Taxes are for the little people who can only hope to die a quick and early death so that they may join Wonder Woman and the JLA in the Hall of Justice. In the Hall of Justice everyday is sunshine and no stimulus packages are needed.

The secular humanist liberals of the country want to turn this great nation into a socialist boot camp for losers and commies. If we let them, they'll succeed. If people really want to see where stimulus packages lead, they need look no further than the nearest Borg Cube where they will see just what a real hippy commune looks like.