Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Sad State of the Economy

For the past few months, people from our flock have been saying:

"Reverend D, we know that your knowledge surpasses that of most mortals and that every word which flows from your mouth is blessed with the unquestionable and absolute Truth. Can you tell us why the American economy is in such shambles? Why have the Justice League and Starfleet Command forsaken us?"

The JLA and Starfleet Command do love us. But when we took Batman's name out of our textbooks and His picture off the classroom walls, kids started thinking it was OK to dress up like clowns and terrorize cities with dangerous toys. We lost our moral base and now we're paying the price.

However, I think the biggest problem we face is all these greedy workers who expect to get paid for their work. They're so selfish they demand things like five minute breaks and a lunch. They foolishly think they're entitled to a few days off throughout year and refuse 36 hour shifts like all good workers should. If they can't make it thirty six hours then they need to just fall asleep and fall over into the vat and die so someone else can have a job. Take the Jem'Hadar, the most feared soldiers in the Dominion. They don't require sleep or food or breaks. Plus, they die on command without wasting time asking the boss stupid questions.

We need to stay competitive if we're going to survive. The sooner we institute 36 to 48 hour shifts, get rid of minimum wage, and gut all safety regulations, the sooner our economy will recover. We need big, fat, rich white guys to suck up all the nation's wealth and unless that happens we all lose.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

US Senate Race: West Virginia 2010

We have heard some disturbing news that there are some people here in the state of West Virginia are thinking about voting for Mountain Party candidate, Jesse Johnson instead of one of the two fine major party candidates, John Raese (R) and Joe Manchin (D), for the US Senate.

This reminds us of some people tend to follow the teachings of Spawn instead of choosing to adhere to the beliefs of one of the two only serious comic book publishers, DC and Marvel.

Friends, we need to look at the facts here. Raese and Manchin are men of the people. It's not like these guys were born with silver spoons in their mouths and never had to work a day in their lives. Hell, everybody knows the last name Manchin hardly has any political clout in Charleston. And Raese, well, we all know he has almost as much in common with working people as Leona Helmsy or Warren Buffet. Not like we're supporting some new aristocracy with these two men or anything.

So let's get serious people. Come on.