Fatwa #9This is perhaps the most important order we can give people who wish to see the Hall of Justice, you must vote the way we tell you to vote. There is no middle ground or room for compromise. Either vote like we tell you to or spend eternity in Arkham. It's that simple. Once you've set your mind to voting, it's time to stop thinking. We're here to do that for you. (You're welcome.)
You see, we must create a nation that is worthy of Superman and the Bat if we are to continue receiving their blessings. This means keeping a lid on progress and passing legislation more favorable to a DC Comics way of life. We must face the major issues of the day with Plastic Man in our hearts. We must vote correctly on such issues as: declaring that all humanoid life is sacred, using our tax dollars to help fight the minions of Apokolips, and putting Batgirl back in the classroom.
Friends, if we continue on with this Legion of Doom, secular humanist way of life than the Justice League of America is going to turn their backs on us. And the DC scriptures tell us that without the JLA there can be no peace.
Now, as for the candidates currently vying for the White House, we've come up with a hundred point rating scale based upon the issues that matter to the DC Comictician. Here's how each of the top contenders rate:
John McCain: 0
Hillary Clinton: 0
John Edwards: 0
Mitt Romney: 0
Mike Huckabee: 0
Barack Obama: 0
Rudy Giuliani: 0
All Praise Be to Power Girl for blessing this church with such wisdom.
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