Thursday, March 6, 2008

Hymns for the DC Comictician and Star Trekiologist

The Elders have charged me with finding and/or creating hymns to celebrate our love for the Justice League of America; hymns to declare our obedience and search for knowledge through the only real Superheroes in this dimension and others.

Let us start by learning the words to this hymn so that we may offer praise to Batman, Robin, and Batgirl. It may take some time to remember the lyrics to this particular hymn, but as Hourman would undoubtedly remind us, we have the time.

Glory be.

Let us stand, join hands, and sing the following praise together!

Now we just need to find someone to play the organ.



JDB said...

Now we just need to find someone to play the organ

Stuffy churchy pipe organ type thing or bluesy Pentacostal B3 type thing? I'm pretty sure I can rig up something suitable. :-)

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Either, or- JDB. Thanks for the offer, but you might want to see the next hymn we've got lined up for tomorrow before you commit yourself.

Malach the Merciless said...

Rev Elvis,

I was doing my DC study today, and reading up in Flash. Speed Force has readily cofused me, please help!

Elvis Drinkmo said...

First, Malach, stop thinking and start believing. Too much thinking leads to Borg-like behavior. Listen to the Elders and understand that everything they say is True and all of your problems will disappear.

Second, understand that the Scarlet Speedster's super fast powers are something that you cannot obtain. Coveting the super powers of our Heroes is a sinister so great that it leads one straight down the path to Arkham. However, it's not too late to ask Hawkgirl for forgiveness.

Third, understand that this life is controlled by the Legion of Doom and their Hollywood friends who push the liberal notion of multi-comic bookism to such extremes, they end up pushing Marvel Comics on our children.

It is the next life you need to prepare for. You can either unite with bliss in the Hall of Justice or you can join Starfleet and serve under Captian Picard. It's your choice- but if you don't live a life filled with righteousness you'll have no choices at all- you will be locked in Arkham Asylum for eternity or sent in a shuttle pod to join the Borg Collective, for eternity.

The choices are clear. Become one with Batman or fall prey to the Joker's poisonous lapel. Praise Captain Kirk daily or become one with the Borg.

It don't think it could be any more simple.