Thursday, November 8, 2007

Who Are the Elders?

Many people have wondered, who are these Elders to whom the High Priest Elvis D. keeps referring?

Well, the Elders are a group of sentient beings who interpret DC Comics and Star Trek episodes and then relay that Truth to me and the First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets. They are closer to our Superheroes and Holy Starfleet Captains then the average mortal or non-commissioned officer. Therefore, every single thing that the Elders say is True. One does not question their wisdom unless one is looking to check in at Arkham Asylum and never check out.

They speak to Batman daily, so it is always best to heed their words. Their commands come directly from Starfleet Command and they are the only commands you ever need to know- unless you plan on learning to speak Borg.

They have asked me to share these photos of a very important meeting concerned some newly discovered Legion of Doom sympathizers and operatives. Their names cannot be disclosed and no other information can be revealed to the public because Lex Luthor, Gorilla Grodd, and the Cardassian Obsidian Order are most likely monitoring our every attempt to get the Truth out and to teach people of Superman's love for humanity.

These are not all of the Elders, just the ones who happen to be in the quadrant. Let us all thank Batgirl for their presence, their commitment, their teachings. Together with the Elders, we can shed a little light on the Legion of Doom's dark world.



Anne Johnson said...

I hate to point this out to your elders, but wine and beer don't mix well, which possibly explains why they are the way they are.

Buzzardbilly said...

I usually refer to Morgantown as The Morg because those who think they aren't going to party will be assimilated. Would this usage be acceptable to the elders? Or, (hears an solid organ note whilst sticking knuckle in mouth) have I inadvertantly committed a bastardization of your fine religion? It would be inadvertant too, because I only became aware of your religion today.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

I will consult with the Elders since they usually define what constitutes blasphemy and who will get to join Captain Picard aboard the Enterprise in the afterlife and who will be sent in shuttlepods to the nearest Borg outpost.

But, I see no reason why you all couldn't continue to use the Morg expression so long as you say three Hail Starfleet Commands in between each usage.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Oh and Buzzard Billy, welcome to the First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets.

If there is any way we can help you along your spirtual path by bringing yourself closer to Captain James T. Kirk, please let us know.

Elvis Drinkmo said...


I tried telling the Elders not to mix beer and wine and to avoid that malt liquer they enjoy so much.

My reward was getting blasted at close range with Federation issue phaser on stun. That was the last time I ever challenged their powerful wisdom and phase pistols.

Anne Johnson said...

Nice gods you got there, Elvis. Not that I haven't been stabbed, set on fire, thrown out a window, and vomited on by Milk & Cheese (Dairy Products Gone Bad), but I always expect it.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I just have to check out a blog by Buzzardbilly. Sounds like my kinda human.