Saturday, November 3, 2007

The World's #1 Selling Comic Book

Some people dropped by the house and left me some of their comic books which speaks of some superhero whose only superpower appears to be turning water into wine and people into pillars of salt.

In one of their pamphlets they claim that the King James Version of the Holy Bible is the number selling comic book in the world. (In close second is another one called Quotations from Chairman Mao Zedong.)

So how can it be that so many people in this world would deny the awesome power of the Black Canary and our other Heroes from the Justice League of America?

Well, let us start with these people who keep coming to the front door of the First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets. They call themselves the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Here is what they have to say:

The Bible identifies Jehovah as the only true God. (Psalm 83:18; John 17:3) The prophet Isaiah recorded God’s own words when he said: “Before me there was no God formed, and after me there continued to be none. I—I am Jehovah, and besides me there is no savior.”—Isaiah 43:10, 11.

All the other gods are not merely inferior to Jehovah. In most cases they are nonexistent—strictly figments of human imagination. The Bible refers to these gods as “the product of the hands of man . . . , which cannot see or hear or eat or smell.” (Deuteronomy 4:28) The Bible plainly teaches that Jehovah is the only true God.

It is no wonder that the Scriptures sternly warn against worshipping any deity other than Jehovah. For instance, in the first of the Ten Commandments given to Moses, the ancient nation of Israel was told not to worship any other god. (Exodus 20:3) Why?

First, to venerate a god that does not even exist is a great insult to the Creator. The worshippers of these false gods are described in the Bible as having “exchanged the truth of God for the lie and venerated and rendered sacred service to the creation rather than the One who created.” (Romans 1:25) Often these imaginary gods are represented by idols made of materials found in nature, such as metal or wood. Many deities are associated with certain aspects of nature, such as thunder, the oceans, and the wind. Surely, then, the veneration of such pseudo gods is a gross act of disrespect to the Almighty God.

First off, these people call their newsletter and official website the Watchtower. This is a clear and blatant violation of the Martian Manhunter's glorious success at helping to assemble the Justice League of America.

For the Flash saith unto J'onn Jones:

You're calling all the big guns. I don't know J'onn. I need to be in Keystone. The Rouges are a lot to handle. I can't imagine ebing out out in space for months at a time or halfway around the world when I'm needed here. (JLA Classified 44: Frame 30)

To which the Martian Manhunter tells the Flash and us:

Let me show you something. This is the Watchtower. The new League will be based on the moon with multiple satellite access with which to monitor the planet. (JLA Classified 44: Frames 45-47)

Now, I don't know about you, but I didn't see anything about this Jehovah in J'onn's words. The big guns the Flash was talking about was Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman. So why would these "witnesses" be using the sacred name of the Watchtower for their base? The Flash was asked to join, not Jehovah- the scriptures make that clear.

We know that this God, alias Jehovah, has not applied for affiliation with the Justice League of America so we know he isn't there where the real war against all things evil is being waged. It makes no sense. There is only one Watchtower; the Word of DC Comics makes this clear to us.

Second is this whole idea that there can be only one superhero. Ridiculous. I mean even someone as powerful as Superman or Power Girl couldn't take down all of the arch-criminals that rise up everyday. This so-called superhero named God is so busy being jealous and disdainful of any other hero that he refuses to fight along side others in the battle against the Legion of Doom and the minions of Apokolips. Folks, that's no superhero.

We here at the First Church embrace all of our Heroes as essential to preserving our way of life. The idea that we would abandon the others in favor of only one is justly plainly absurd; unless, of course, the only villain you're concerned about is the weak-ass, evil minion wannabe named Satan.

So the next time these Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door and ask me to join, I'll tell them that I'll join just as soon as God is accepted into the JLA- the League of the only true Heroes of this dimension and others by the Martian Manhunter, himself. As soon as Jehovah takes his place with the multitude of other Superheroes and shares his powers with theirs, I'll add him to the prayer list.


1 comment:

The Film Geek said...

Terrific post, Elvis. And in this day and age, we better hope there is more than one super hero. 'Cause, I'm not sure Batman alone can get it done right now.