Let us bow our heads.
Our Batman who art in the Batcave,
Please look over us as we walk this dimension, cast out from Gotham because of the Original Sinister. Look over us from those tall buildings as we sleep or have Robin, Batgirl, or Nightwing do it if you're too busy. Give us the strength to fight our inner supervillians and forgive us of our trespassing.
Batman, please help sway us from the influence of crime and Catwoman's temptations. Help us to see the path which leads us away from the Riddler and the Legion of Doom. Save us from the chilling power of Mr. Freeze and the Penguin's deadly umbrellas. Keep us safe each day from Clayface and the Mad Hatter.
Our Dark Knight, we ask that you help others to see your eternal vigilance. Please help guide those who have abandoned you and the JLA for Marvel Comics, Anime, Harry Potter, and other such fictional influences which lead people straight into the swamp of the Legion of Doom's headquarters. Even if it means smacking them upside the head with a Baterang, we ask that you bring these people back to your wisdom and grace.
Our Caped Crusader, we ask that you apply your mighty influence upon this nation's leaders that they may see that only through you and the Bat signal can we be kept safe from crime. Allow our school boards to see that by putting your pictures back on the walls of our schools, we can teach our children that all criminals are weak and cowardly and deter them from leading a life of crime. Only through state mandated programs and the forced worship of your word through DC Comics can we restore this once great nation to one that is free from the Joker.
In the name of the second Robin, who died for our sinisters, we pray to you,
Prayer, Batman, Church and State, Religion, Truth, DC Comics