Wednesday, September 26, 2007

So Much Prophesy, So Little Truth

The Elders and I have begun extensive research on what other comic fans think will take place in the future. We're curious as to how many people in this world realize the dangers posed by the Joker as well as Darkseid, Granny Goodness and the Borg Collective.

It's really disappointing to see how few people concern themselves with real villains these days. They seem to focus their energies on some half-ass, future criminal named the Anti-Christ. Together with his "crime boss" called Satan, an even sillier villain who has yet rob a single bank or jewelry store, this Anti-Christ is supposed to bring about peace and order through a one world government- hardly the work of evil masterminds like Mr. Freeze and the Scarecrow.

Take for example a site called Prophesy News Watch. Here they rant and rave about supposed signs of their two really lame supervillains' plot to spread their "evil" while totally ignoring the serious threat posed by Lex Luthor and the Legion of Doom.

Here's a sample from the site:

"We will monitor events from around the world of interest to Christians. Church trends, social issues such as abortion and homosexuality, Christian persecution, Christian entertainment and culture are just a sample of some of these topics.

"We will monitor world events that may not on the surface have a direct relationship to Bible prophecy but are important to keep an eye on. Examples include the the rise of Islamic influence in the world, China's emergence as a superpower and her conflict with Taiwan, natural disasters, signs in the heavens, emerging diseases such as bird flue and other globally impacting issues will be watched."

Now what's missing here?

1) The rise in the amount of people choosing to read Marvel Comics over DC Comics. More boys today are being named Peter (Parker); instead of Bruce (Wayne). And just as alarming is the amount of children who are now watching Anime instead of The Justice League Unlimited and Star Trek.

2) The amount of political leaders and entertainers who are most likely on the Legion of Doom's payroll.

3) The rise in sales of playing cards with the Joker's face in the deck and Degree deodorant, which advertise Captain Boomerang's symbol; as well as the growing presence of ice machines around hotel chains which are blatant symbols of Mr. Freeze, Captain Cold, and Killer Frost.

4) The possibility of
Apokolips becoming the next galactic, inter-dimensional superpower and the more immediate threat of the Dominion taking over the entire Alpha Quadrant if we fail to adequately safeguard the Bajoran wormhole.

5) The battle taking place between the Green Lantern Corps and the Sinestro Corps. Hal Jordon, John Stewart, Guy Gardner, and Kyle Rainer are working their asses off off to protect Sector 2814 from Sinistro's minions and here's Prophesy News Watch worrying about the goddamn bird flu.

I really wish more people would stop worrying about getting invitations to Satan's big Halloween party. They need to pull their heads out of their asses and start getting serious about the real threats to our way of life: the Legion of Doom, Darkseid, the Sinestro Corps, the Dominion, and the Borg.

The sooner we start addressing the real issues we face today, the sooner we can start solving the real problems of tomorrow.



Anne Johnson said...

Ain't it funny how guys like Stan Lee and Jeph Loeb can create better villains than Satan? Whether you like DC or Marvel, they're both more interesting than that comic book with no pictures.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

I have to agree there, Anne. Dr. Doom is pretty sloppy, but he could kick ass on that Satan character without batting an eyelid.

Rosie said...

Cthulhu vs. Satan? Celebrity death match, anyone?

Though I must admit being attracted to the whole Light Bearer type mythos of the lovely yet evil thing. But the superpower of "making you think bad thoughts" is sort of lame. Even I can do that.