Monday, September 3, 2007

The Truth and Those Who Choose to Ignore It

DC Comictician thought of the weak:

Loyal DC Comictician and faithful Star Trekiologist, Chris James, asks the Church:

"Is it right to slaughter readers of Marvel and Darkhorse, or should they be protected as 'people of the (comic) book?'"

This is a good question.

The Marvelites are the ones who consider us "people of the comic book" and they say that we should be protected. They also claim to believe in Bruce Wayne, but they think he was just another resident of Gotham City and not the real Bat. The Marvelites claim to follow comic books of peace, but one look at the Punisher or Wolverine and we can see that this isn't entirely true. Like the Legion of Doom and the Sinestro Corps, the Marvel Universe hates us for our freedoms even if some their followers and clerics claim otherwise.

The DC Comictician, on the other hand, is committed to peace and justice. This is why we must beat our enemies senseless and drag them to Arkham Asylum by their hair for the smallest infraction; so that they may see how serious we are about finding non-violent solutions to the world's problems. The Batman demands this of us.

But slaughter is never an option. As Dick Grayson reminds us, we would rather see our foes in jail than dead. Mindless mayhem and savage destruction are the things of the Hulk. We must strive to fine tune our ass kicking in order to serve a much higher purpose.

Remember, when it comes to Marvelites, we must learn to hate the comic books, not the comic book fans. And we should pray each and every night to the Martian Manhunter that the Marvelites will join us by stepping into the light and realizing that Bruce Wayne is the true Batman and that Iron Man is little more than false prophet and a drunk.



Jackie Lantern said...

Although I disagree with almost everything you DC-ites have to say I gotta tell you I love this blog. Really.

That being said I think we both know Prince Namor is way cooler than that other guy :D

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Thanks, Jackie. There may be time to save you from the walls of Arkham afterall.

But Namor? The Black Manta would eat him for lunch. That's we must put our faith in Aquaman, the true King of Atlantis.

Anne Johnson said...

All hail mindless mayhem and destruction! We of the Church of Slave Labor Graphics hurl gasoline bombs on your flabby superwimps, as our heroes, Milk and Cheese, demonstrate the proper way to bash skulls and heave babies out of windows!

Yes, we are a small cult, but we're growing. And when we burst out big time, DC will be THROUGH.

Look for a nice Slave Labor Graphics missionary in your neighborhood soon! They're always nice young men wearing suits and ties.