Saturday, September 15, 2007

There Are Superheros and then There Are Superheroes

People who read that comic book called the Bible are getting offended over everything these days. In fact, they seem to be getting more and more like those Quran comic book fans over in Europe and the Middle East everyday. No sooner than an actor, a comedian, or a news anchor says something negative about one of their superheroes, they're all up in arms demanding censorship and making their hyper-sensibilities a national crisis.

First we've got people all worked over Kathy Griffin. She won and Emmy for her show and said:

"A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award, I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus,"

"Suck it, Jesus, this award is my god now!"

Then we've got Mark Finklestein who's all worked up because Christian superhero, Billy Graham's picture on the front of Time Magazine was placed under the "M" supposedly making it look like the guy's got horns resembling one of their supervillains named Satan:

"Could there possibly be an American who doesn't admire the Reverend Billy Graham? Apparently, yes. Have a look at the cover of this week's 'Time.' Of all the ways the editors might have positioned the logo, they managed to do so in a manner in which the 'M' in 'TIME' is transformed into horns protruding from the good reverend's head."

It all reminds me of why I'm so glad to have discovered the Truth and embraced the Justice League of America as our only true saviors.

I mean if Griffin had got on national television and said those things about Batman, he'd have flown the Batplane straight into the wall of that studio and kicked the shit clean out of His offenders. If Time had run a picture of Wonder Woman underneath the symbols of Lex Corp, their next cover would have shown some badly beaten and bruised-up editors and photographers captured in Her golden lasso with a headline reading, "We're Sorry, Diana Prince!"

Why follow a bunch of superheroes who can't fight their own battles or censor people with their own superpowers instead of the government's? There are no Salmon Rushdies or Last Temptations of Batgirl in our faith- just Lex Luthor, Toyman, the Cheetah, and Gorilla Grodd versus the Truth and some ass-kicking toys.

We may never know the answer to that question.



Anne Johnson said...

You big religions like DC and the Bible folks are totally missing the point. It's elemental spirits like Milk and Cheese (Slave Labor Graphics) who make the world a brighter place. If God is dead, He didn't buy it by either Superman or Gorilla Grodd. He was done in by Milk and Cheese, Dairy Products Gone Bad.

JDB said...

Hmm, I think Last Temptations of Batgirl is on late-nite Cinemax tonight!

Elvis Drinkmo said...

That God guy may still exist, Anne, but until he starts fighting crime from the sky with a Batplane or shooting down Captain Cold with heat ray vision from his eyeballs- I remain unimpressed.

If there were such a movie, JDB, it would be Barbara Gordon kicking someone's ass for two straight hours, whether that was what the producers had in mind or not.

Flash said...

Sorry, never heard of Kathy Griffin. Glad she didn't thank God though.