Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Evolution v. Creationism: The Answer is Simple

Those fans of that big, black comic book called the Holy Bible are at it again.

The big ordeal is over a single question. "Human beings, as we know them, developed from earlier species of animals: true or false?" According to New Scientist, the question is "splitting America apart".

Well, folks, the answer to this question is simple: we did evolve from single-celled organisms, but it was done by intelligent design.

We know the first to be true because Q took Captain Jean Luc Picard back to the beginning of life on earth where he witnessed the first two electrodes combusting to form life. It's right there in the show, people, how much clearer could it get?

We also know that our DNA came from a race called The Preservers. They scattered it around all the Class M planets throughout the galaxy (including the one in the Terran system or Sector 001- if you prefer) and programmed it to evolve into something that would walk upright and essentially resemble them. This was also made clear to us through Star Trek- The Next Generation.

So why all the fuss? The answers are right there. All we're required to do is give up all objectivity and reason and give in to faith and belief alone. It's so simple.

Please, please stop all the fighting and bow down before the warp drive. Surrender yourselves to the United Federation of Planets and Starfleet before you're forced to surrender to the Borg.

The answers are there we just have to accept them.

Hat Tip to All Click for alerting our Elders to this alarming new development.



Rebecca Burch said...

I really don't understand why the two have to be mutually exclusive. God and Science can coexist.

Anne Johnson said...

Yes they most certainly can. The universe began when the God Bumba became so stressed over being alone that he vomited. One Big Bang. That starfleet stuff is just mythology. Get your science straight, Elvis.

Jennifer said...

That New Scientist article just proves how many dumb people there are in this country. Or sheep like people. Take your pick.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

The ironic thing about it- this whole ancient Greek attitude toward science where modern people attempt to explain nature away with mythical tales of magical gardens and despicable devils really does make one wonder if the human race has evolved all that much in the past 3000 years.