After arguing about the absurdity of placing the Bible comic book's ten commandments in a courthouse in Kentucky, I received a message from Jonn Jones, the Martian Manhunter. Last night several Watchtower employees lifted me out of my slumber and pulled me up to where our Heroes meet in the sky. I was placed before the blinding light emitted by the inner perfection of our Superheroes and they told me what I had to do.
Jonn has informed me that it is sometimes better to imitate our rivals than to fight them (something that he no doubt learned from the Batman). So our Justice League and Justice Society heroes have put together ten new commandments for us to live by.
As High Priest of DC Comictology, I offer these commandments which should be followed by all those who wish to avoid Arkham Asylum in the afterlife.
1) You shall have no other superheroes before Us.
2) You shall not worship graven images pulled from Marvel comic books or those of Anime. We're not really jealous heroes, but We think that Spiderman and the Incredible Hulk are not up to the task of taking out the Joker.
3) You shall not use the name Mx***ptlk in vain or any other way because it conjures up a very dangerous villain. You may, however, say it backwards just for good luck.
4) There shall be no day set aside for rest because the Legion of Doom never rests. You must protect yourselves against them with the Word daily.
5) Honor your parents as you would the Amazons from the Island of Themyscira.
6) You shall not take a life of a supervillian or anyone else; for the decision to do that will be left to Us alone.
7) You shall not commit adultery unless you are from a planet or dimension that condones it.
8) You shall not conspire to rob banks or steal precious artifacts and jewelry.
9) You shall not bear false witness against members of the Justice League or the Justice Society or anyone who has chosen to accept Us as the guardians of this dimension and others.
10) You shall not covet Our superpowers nor envy any of the cool toys invented in the Batcave.
So saith the JLA. We expect these simple laws to be placed in the Mercer County courthouse down in Kentucky immediately.
Mercer County, Ten Commandments, Church and State, Simple Rules, JLA