Saturday, June 2, 2007

Hey, No Offense

I have recently been under fire by a few people from the blogosphere, people whom I honestly respect, for having no ideology to back up certain political beliefs and/or social morals. I have studied religions and mythologies since I was old enough to read and rejected all of them as absolute sources of knowledge. Perhaps, it's time to change all that.

I'm going to try to become a fundamentalist. But.....

I wasn't born Hindu or Jewish and haven't been to church in about twenty years. I do not possess the mental discipline to become a Buddhist and I will not give up alcohol, which pretty much rules out Islam. I could turn to paganism or rediscover some sort of truth in old Greek or Egyptian mythology, but I'm not going to. Instead, I am going to base a set of fundamentalist values around DC Comics and Star Trek.

Actor William Shatner would undoubtedly say that I need to get a life like he did on that hilarious Saturday Night Live skit. He's probably right, but why ain't nobody sayin' that to all those people down at their local school boards demanding that creationism be taught in their public schools?

Was Jesus Christ the son of God? Was Captain James T. Kirk in command of the starship Enterprise on a five year mission to explore the galaxy? Both questions can be seen as legitimate or ridiculous or maybe even legitimately ridiculous. It all depends upon your point of view and how you perceive concepts like faith and science as well as your opinion on what constitutes fiction, fact, and fable.

It really isn't my intention to offend anyone with these writings, but unfortunately, it's probably inevitable. I feel that if someone is comfortable enough with what they believe, they have no reason to get all up in arms if I compare the lessons of Abraham and Issac to the lessons of Batman, the Green Lantern, and Captain Jean Luc Picard. But I also realize when someone has so much internal doubt about their own values and beliefs that they often have no other recourse than to lash out at people who don't share those values and beliefs. And I will say that I won't be too concerned if I do offend those fundamentally religious people who live in a bubble and take themselves and the world that surrounds them too seriously. In my opinion, those fundamentalist types are genuine clowns and the fact they don't realize they are clowns makes them even funnier.

I always wanted to try my hand as a clown, which brings me to this next point:

I am not entirely comfortable with this new religion. So it really does remain to be seen what my reaction will be when people try telling me that Barbara Gordon isn't really Batgirl, there is no Atlantis with Aquaman in charge and there are no Borg cubes from the Delta Quadrant on their way to attempt assimilating Earth. Will I concede to the idea that there may different interpretations concerning the Justice League's relationship to Lex Luthor or will I stand my ground and insist that there is no room for discussion or other interpretations? We'll see.

So the Garden of Eden or Gotham City; we report, you decide. Hell, I may even decide to match the Pope's annual Latin Christmas reading with a few of my own pronouncements (written in traditional Klingon).



MountainLaurel said...

Instead of the Mission Statement, shouldn't it be the Prime Directive? Or does the Prime Directive remain as it always has been?

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Yes, Laurel.

A Star Trekiologist altering the Prime Directive would be like a Christian changing the words to the Lord's Prayer.

Rosie said...

I really love this idea a lot.

But since I'm such a serious otaku...I think there should be a competing religion to yours based on manga and anime. I'm not sure that you can be a fundamentalist without an opposing faction....A "great" Satan if you will.

Flash said...

Did you know that a substantial minority described their religion as 'Jedi Knight' in the last UK census?

Elvis Drinkmo said...

That's funny. Bless the UK!!

I remember a kid in high school telling a guidance councilor during a "what do you want to do with your life" session that he wanted to be a Jedi when he graduated.