Thursday, June 14, 2007

Into the Abyss of Blasphemy in America

You are Batman

You are dark, love gadgets and have vowed to help the innocent not suffer the pain you have endured.

Green Lantern
Iron Man
The Flash
Wonder Woman

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz


I found this quiz and all of its characteristics a form of heresy to someone who takes our heroes from the DC scriptures so seriously.

How could anyone be as great as the Bat or Wonder Woman? We can dedicate our daily lives to the lessons handed down to us through the heroes of the JLA and the JSA, but none of us will ever quite make it to the same level of righteousness of great beings like Dr. Fate. People can try to be like Superman, but they'll never actually be Superman.

Plus, this quiz includes heroes from Marvel Comics which is equally offensive to a DC Comictician. Notice the way Spiderman, the Hulk, and Iron Man are tucked in between Robin, Green Lantern, and the Flash. This nearly burned my eyeballs clean out of my head. Clearly, America has lost its way.

But we must remember that this is America and all people are entitled to their own beliefs and the right to speak freely no matter how popular those beliefs and criticisms may be with the majority.

I would also like to tell you here today, that I harbor no hatred toward Marvel Comics and do not discriminate against their followers. But I do hope they realize that theirs are just comic books and not infinite sources of wisdom and truth. We must remember to hate the sin and not the sinner; for not all Marvel fans belong in Arkham.

So now I must go and kneel before the flat screen TV and meditate before the eternal glow of Batman Begins for taking part in this blasphemy. I shall also place my right hand on the sacred book of Green Lantern: Greatest Stories Ever Told and hope that the Justice League of America will forgive me for daring to make the false claim that I am Batman when, in fact, I'm just another mere mortal basking in the glow of Gotham City's Dark Knight.



the laughing gypsy said...

I'm just jealous that you're Batman. Although I'm really lovin' this Invisible Jet!

Elvis Drinkmo said...

The jet and the truth lasso. I envy you.