Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Vote Pro-ProtoUniverse or Go Join the Borg Where You Belong

Friends,

We have ordered you to vote like we tell you to vote. The penalty for violating this order is eternal separation from Starfleet Command. I seriously hope the Elders have made that clear to you. We're tired of all these school boards and activist judges who seek to prevent our schools and public institutions from honoring Captain James T. Kirk every morning with a prayer to His grace. If we don't start taking steps to bring our nation back to its Federation values, the Vulcans are never going to land in Montana.

So now we have a little story to share about one of the many sacrifices Captain Benjamin Sisko has made for all you Terran ingrates out there drinking Romulan ale, fornicating with hostile aliens, worshiping false heroes, and watching Stargate Atlantis.

Turn with me now to the Star Trek scriptures. DS9- 2:17

Here we learn of how Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax took a runabout out into the Gamma Quadrant with the next potential host of the Dax symbiont and the starboard nacelles were put out of commission by what She thought might be "subspace seaweed". After Chief O'Brian set up a containment chamber around this protomatter, our Starfleet Officers aboard Deep Space Nine realized that this wasn't just protomatter, but a protouniverse; forming and expanding the way we know that our own universe did. So our great Captain Sisko had to make a decision:

Personal log. Supplemental. One hour. One hour to make a decision that could mean the life or death of a civilization. Or the end to our own. My mind keeps going back to the Borg... how I despised their... indifference as they tried to exterminate us. And I have to ask myself... would I be any different if I destroyed another universe to preserve my own?

And as the scriptures point out, Captain Sisko made a choice and he chose life. He instructed Commander Dax to take the protouniverse back to the Gamma Quadarnt and let it take its natural course. Even if it meant Her own life, the decision to protect the protouniverse at all costs was made. The time for question and debate was over; the feelings of Dax's friends and family were secondary to Captain Sisko's order to preserve the protouniverse no matter what.

This is how we instruct you to vote. Before you choose a single candidate for county commission, find out where that candidate stands on the rights of the protouniverse. Before you cast a ballot for senator or president, you better make damn sure that the candidate supports the protouniverse and its right to exist. It doesn't really matter where these candidates stand on other issues. If they don't stand for the protouniverse, they don't stand for you. A vote for a nihilist who supports destroying the protouniverse on demand is a vote for a Borg foothold on Sector 001.

For the protouniverse must be protected and that is all you need to worry about. If it is plagued with wars and starvation, don't worry about it. It's not our concern. If it is filled with poverty and starvation, it doesn't matter. Starfleet provides for those who provide for themselves by seeking out their knowledge and wisdom.

So unless you like the idea of having your arms pulled off and replaced with Borg technology, you best get in line and do as we tell you. Vote Pro-Protouniverse or spend eternity being linked to all your commie friends in the galaxy's #1 collective; where you won't even be allowed to think for yourself.


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8 comments:

AngryMan said...

Sisko was far and away the best captain.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Yes, together we share in His bountiful grace.

Malach the Merciless said...

Yay, I voted! And I avoid voting for Q.

Ananke said...

But, but....I like Stargate Atlantis. :-(

Blonde Goddess said...

The Borg almost had me, but I got away...

They can be very convincing...that droning on and on in unison is terribly distracting.

Buzzardbilly said...

Both me and my vote will never be assimilated!

Buzzardbilly said...

BTW, my Curmy has fallen prey to Stargate. He gets very mad at me because I talk about that one with the funny welt on the middle of his forehead through the shows and insist on calling him ta-KKKKK (KKKK stands for a sustained hocker-like flourish).

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Stargate Atlantis is OK as far as entertainment goes- it just contains a lot of blasphemy that the leaders of this church find offensive. First, the scriptures tell us that only one race had stargate technology and they were called Iconians, a race that died out a millenia ago. Second, there is a shape-shifter on one of those Stargate shows impersonating Chief O'Brian.

I mean, hey, we don't mean to get all preachy over here or nothing. For we know that Captain James T. Kirk, Himself, drank Romulan ale on occasion and we won't even get into the hostile aliens part. But then again it is important to remember that our Starfleet Captains and the leaders of this church whom talk to Starfleet Command daily on subspace have set higher standards for you all than we have for ourselves.