Saturday, June 30, 2007

Apokolips Rising

The other day I heard people saying that recent events taking place in the world today are signs the end of the world is near. One woman even spoke of the Apokolips and I began to shake in my shoes.

I don't think people realize just how serious this is. If Darkseid is planning an invasion, we had best prepare ourselves immediately.

Read about it here:

"Surprisingly, Apokolips is second to New Genesis in technological advancement. With their technology, they are the height of power in most of the universe and are able to devastate galaxies when they choose to use it. Apokoliptian technology is furthermore the source of unparalleled misery in the universe as the planet routinely arms evil groups with advanced technology in order to further its influence (and misery) across the universe."

This is no shit. I mean if you're one of those people who fears Hillary Clinton, you're going to just love Granny Goodness.


Friday, June 29, 2007

What Humans Don't Want

Your Star Trekiology verse of the week:

After negotiations between the United Federation of Planets and the Klingon Empire breakdown, a Klingon ship fires on the Enterprise. Lieutenant Uhura relays the Code One order from Starfleet Command.

Captain Kirk says to Mr. Spock, "Well, there it is, war. We didn't want it, but we got it."

Mr. Spock replies, "Curious, how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want."

Star Trek TOS,
Season One:
Chapter 22


5 Out of 9 Supreme Court Justices Agree

The Supreme Court has ruled in favor of the Bush Administration's "faith based initiatives". Our pious Justices apparently prayed to whatever golden statue it is they worship and came up with a 5-4 decision that limits people's ability to challenge federal tax dollars going into religious organizations.

According to the Freedom From Religion Foundation:

"Significantly, the high court upheld the precedent of Flast v. Cohen (1968), granting federal taxpayers the right to challenge unconstitutional acts of Congress to promote religion. Today's Court interpretation, however, limits Flast v. Cohen to acts of Congress explicitly appropriating money used to promote religion, or funding specific programs which promote religion."


"The Supreme Court in effect ruled that the Bush Administration may use taxpayer money to support religion without complaint by taxpayers. The decision makes the violation impervious to court review, since no one besides taxpayers could have standing to challenge the appropriations."

Holy Vatican City, Batman! Religious organizations applying for federal grants?

The First Church of the DC Comictician needs to get in on this. Perhaps we could launch our own federally-funded camps for young girls and boys so that they can learn how to use Batarangs, fight like Black Canary, and wield the Green Lantern's power ring so that the next generation might be prepared for what may lie in store for them.

Let's face it; faith and prayer alone are not going to stop the Legion of Doom. With millions of taxpayer dollars at hand, we could have Crusaders for the Justice League on every block in America.

Our future is at stake and every taxpaying citizen in the country should be forced to pick up the tab whether they embrace the teachings of the Martian Manhunter or not. Just ask those five devout Roman Catholics (Roberts, Alito, Scalia, Thomas and Kennedy) on the highest court in the land.


Batgirl Teaches the Dynamic Duo About Equal Rights and Pay for Women

A Priestyish-like Hat Tip to Egalia from Tennessee Guerilla Women for finding this old gem on You Tube.


Acts of Good

"If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life, as from that dry and parching wind of the African deserts called simoon, which fills the mouth and nose and ears and eyes with dust till you are suffocated, for fear that I should get some of his good done to me--some of his virus mingled with my blood. No, -- in this case I would rather suffer evil the natural way" --Henry David Thoreau from Walden

Damn, what would Thoreau have thought if the Justice League came busting through the roof of his house on Walden Pond because they had just learned that Brainiac was on the way to use his home as a new base for conquering the universe?

Therein lies the problem with all evangelicalism. It is in the best interest of all living creatures in this dimension and others that folks like Brainiac, Gorilla Grodd, and the Joker be stopped. Aquaman knows far better than we do of how twisted the Black Manta can be so he probably feels that whatever actions are required to stop him are acceptable. We also saw within the scriptures of the Justice League Unlimited; Lex Luthor attempt to run for president claiming he had reformed his evil ways. He did so under the suspicious and watchful eye of Superman, Martian Manhunter, and the rest of the League. And sure enough, Luthor's intentions were insincere and he was ultimately stopped by our heroes(several buildings were destroyed and lives were disrupted in the process).

So how far should someone go when they set out to do their good upon someone else?

Surely Christian and Muslim people believe that they are doing the right thing when they try to impose their morals and beliefs upon other people. After all, they believe in physical realms called Heaven and Hell and they feel it is in our best interest to avoid the latter at all costs. The same can be said of authoritative socialist regimes from the past like the Khmer Rouge, who probably believed that forcing people out in the countryside to work like slaves and routinely be rounded up and shot was in the best interests of Cambodia's people as a whole.

In our Star Trek universe this is not dissimilar to the Borg, who conquer and assimilate entire worlds with the belief that they are obtaining perfection and that those who's minds are erased and bodies altered will share in that dream (that is if Borg automatons can be said to have beliefs). In the scriptures of Star Trek The Next Generation we learn from Locutus of Borg (Star Trek Next Generation: Season 4, Chapter 1) and from a Borg separated from the Collective (STNG: Season 5, Chapter 2), that they cannot understand why humans and other alien races resist them when their main goal is to improve quality of life for all species. The Borg believe that the concept of individuality and free will is harmful to a race as Christians believe that sin will bring down punishment from their God both here and in the afterlife.

But there is one major question worth asking. How much of a person or a people's good is done to enhance the lives of those they seek to rescue and how much of it is done for their own self-preservation and self-gratification?


1) The Black Manta's drive to seek out revenge against the ocean which he feels is represented by Aquaman is what drives him to lead a life of crime. If Aquaman were to lay down his life to put an end to this quest for revenge, would that remove the threat we all face from the Black Manta?

2) The Borg do not evolve, nor grow so they are required to conquer and assimilate in order to survive. It seems that their stated goal of seeking to improve the lives of all humanoids is a moral justification to commit heinous acts of conquest to achieve their own ends.

3) The Bible and the Koran instruct their followers to go out and spread the word and convert people. Do they care about the souls of the non-believers or are they worried that their own inaction might lead to their God becoming angry at them and punishing them as surely as he would the sinner?

4) And when you look at totalitarian communist regimes, you can't help notice how many portraits and statues there are of the people who instituted them. If communism exists for the betterment of the common worker, why would anyone even need to know any leader's name, let alone be completely surrounded by their images?

(It should be noted that at this point the Borg queen would tell me that as an individual I am small and think in small terms and the evangelical Christian might say that I should stop asking questions and surrender my all my objectivity to faith alone. Uncle Joe Stalin would probably just have me taken out and hanged.)

These are an age old questions, I'm sure. Surely inaction is not the answer to ruining people's lives with your "good" and those things we find to be wrong should be avoided especially when employed merely for self gain. Perhaps Thoreau says it best:

"I would not subtract anything from the praise that is due to philanthropy, but merely demand justice for all who by their lives and works are a blessing to mankind. I do not value chiefly a man's uprightness and benevolence, which are, as it were, his stem and leaves. Those plants of whose greenness withered we make herb tea for the sick serve but a humble use, and are most employed by quacks. I want the flower and fruit of a man; that some fragrance be wafted over from him to me, and some ripeness flavor our intercourse. His goodness must not be a partial and transitory act, but a constant superfluity, which costs him nothing and of which he is unconscious."


Thursday, June 28, 2007

About Me

I've been tagged by my friend, Anne Johnson from The Gods Are Bored to tell seven things about myself. So here goes:

- I was born from a fog somewhere in the hills of West Virginia. I'm not sure who my father is, but after some extensive research I have narrowed it down to either plant or animal.

- I'm not sure which year or century I was actually born, but I crawled out of the woods in 1970.

- I have two older half-brothers who are relatively famous: Pumpkinhead and the Mothman.

- The Mothman and I still keep in touch on a regular basis, but me and Pumpkinhead haven't spoken since he threw away all of his DC comic books and started reading Marvel comic books because he thinks they're "more adult".

- I speak four major languages: English, Romulan, Klingon, and Thanagarian.

- I've never left this planet, at least at anytime that I'm aware of.

- I picked up the newest Fantastic Four comic book off the shelf at the newsstand and thumbed through it before I knew what I was doing. Upon returning home, it took five showers to make me feel normal again (I think I'm going to call that store and ask them if they'll cover up those types of comic books so that such temptations can be avoided in the future. Dr. Doom? I mean come on).

- Our lives growing up were pretty normal. Me, Pumpkinhead, and the Mothman fought just like all brothers do, we all played sports in high school, listened to country, heavy metal, and rap, got decent grades and participated in school events, etc.. Some people thought we were a little odd, but really, we're just like everybody else.

*The pictures in this post are (in order) me, Pumpkinhead, and Mothman's senior pictures- we never really did care much for tuxedos.

What Would Hawkgirl Do?

Now, he broke the chains that bound me,
and now I’m free
Today I’m right where Mama
Prayed I’d be
I’m down on my knees
Now I believe
What Mama knew for sure
He’s King of kings
Lord of lords
I found Jesus on the jailhouse floor

-George Straight, "I Found Jesus on the Jailhouse Floor"

One of the biggest bullshit media obsessions has brought hotel chain heiress Paris Hilton to her knees in prayer. I mean that's all fine and good, but what it's really going to do for her at this point?

Another alternative could have been to seek out the advice of Shayera "Hawkgirl" Hol. Hawkgirl learned the true meaning of actions and consequences the hard way after she sided with the Thanagarians when they decided to invade earth and place the entire human race under martial law.

Hawkgirl wasn't aware that her people were planning to destroy the earth, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy style, in order to create a hyperspace bypass so they could launch an attack against the Gordanians. Nevertheless, she failed to get any sympathy from her former Justice League friends or anyone else from the human race when she tried to plea for her innocence.

So perhaps, Ms. Hilton should put that Bible back on the shelf and start checking out Justice League Unlimited DVDs instead. That way she can find some spiritual guidance through Shayera Hol and study the ways in which the Hawkgirl slowly worked her way back into the hearts of the Justice League of America and the people of earth.

I mean, hell, what's a few DUIs compared to aiding and abetting an alien race who's plans were to destroy the entire planet?


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Ode to Captain Pike

O' Captain Christopher Pike, how great thou art. We hardly got a chance to know thee and thy mission to explore the strange new worlds and seek out new life! Thou hast offered thy life and received little bounty to shepherd thine souls that dwell within the vast space of the United Federation of Planets.

Captain Pike was the Starfleet captain who preceded James T. Kirk in commanding the USS Enterprise (registry: NCC-1701).

After being promoted to fleet captain He was badly injured by delta ray radiation heroically rescuing some cadets during a training exercise. He was rendered immobile and speechless so Starfleet made him a wheelchair that operated off of his brainwaves.

We have Captain Pike to thank for making first contact with the highly intelligent aliens known as the Talosians from the quarantined planet of Talos IV and for befriending and promoting Mr. Spock, the half-Vulcan first officer under Captain Kirk.

So let us take a moment now and bow our heads in thanks to Fleet Captain Christopher Pike. Perhaps if we show just enough gratitude for his service in Starfleet, he might send out a few of his brainwaves to activate that green "yes" button on the front of his chair restraint and thereby bless us all.


Monday, June 25, 2007

Supervilliany of Bloggers

DC Comictician thought to start your week:

If Arkham Asylum wired up all their cells with computers and high speed internet access, what kind of bloggers would those Supervillians make?

Harvey "Two-Face" Dent is the first who comes to mind. I bet he could fit right into the blogosphere. After all, we bloggers have more than one face- the one(s) we offer to people in the real world and the one(s) we display to others in the online world.

He could sit down at his computer and flip his coin- then proceed as whatever character fate chose for him and share thoughts from that particular face. It certainly would make for an interesting read, especially since he's already schooled in the ways of politics.


Spiritual Mythology Insurance

I may need this, if that big Christian comic book turns out to be right.

Seen at Bronx Bloggers. (And I do hope the folks over there will forgive me for rooting against the New York Yankees every summer- as a Cleveland Indians fan- not as a DC Comictician. Of course, all's fair in baseball and religion.)


Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Slanted Media

I'm sure by now that everybody knows that our media is biased toward one side of the spectrum. They are biased against everything that is true in this universe and others. I'm sure that everyone also knows who this nation's media favors when it come to what should be wisdom and truth: Marvel Comics.

This slant in the media is really unnerving and it seeks to undermine everything good and holy in the world today. I ask you: is it any wonder that we face so many problems in this country when every time you turn around there's a poster of Spiderman, parents allowing their kids to dress up like the Fantastic Four, and plastic figurines of the Hulk on every display shelf in the nation?

This is not by accident, my friends. It's a conspiracy amongst the educated elite to try to persuade young minds into believing that the so-called morals of the Marvel Universe are the ones they should accept without any regard for the honest teachings of the real heroes like Batgirl, Aquaman, the Flash, Hawkgirl, and Zatanna. Within a week's time I counted how many times a Marvel hero received a reference from reporters as opposed to references made to DC heroes. The ratio was astoundingly in favor of Marvel.

Hollywood is also in on this conspiracy with the Marvel media. There were three Marvel based movies in this year alone, while DC didn't get any! It's no wonder that people lean in that direction and consistently deny the truth- the truth which never gets told by CNN, ABC News, and the like because reporters are too busy fawning over Wolverine and Captain America to let the people know what's really going on.

I tell you here today folks; this Marvel media bias is going to be our downfall. If we continue to turn our backs on the Justice League and the Justice Society, we may have no defense against the new Kid Amazo or the constant threat we face from the Sinestro Corps. Do people really think we can call on Ironman or Daredevil to defend us against Darkseid? Talk about losing all touch with reality. These same people probably believe that we can simply talk the Cheetah into giving up her evil ways just by appeasing her greedier side.

America really needs to get back to the basics. Batman is the only one who can put a stop to the Joker. No matter what the Marvel media tries to tell us, the X-Men just ain't up to the task. We must all beware of the sinister plan being sold to us through our newspapers, radio, and television. These Legion of Doom sympathizers would like nothing more than to see us all fail at the hands of the Gorilla Grodd, just so they can say that our DC heroes have let us down. That's how the Marvel media operates. They want us to think Dr. Octopus is the real threat while Lex Luthor secretly carries out another one of his evil plans.

Let us be sure then. Spiderman isn't going to make the Riddler go away just by trying to spin webs around his complicated puzzles. The sooner we all realize that, the safer we'll all be.


Friday, June 22, 2007

Every Puzzle Has a Solution

Star Trekiology Verse of the Week:

"The important thing during any confinement is to think positively and not give up hope. There is a way out of every box; a solution to every puzzle. It's simply a matter of finding it."

-Captain Jean Luc Picard
Star Trek Next Generation
Season 7: Chapter 8


Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Stem Cell Research

Resident Bush has vowed to veto a bill coming out of congress that would create federal support for stem cell research. Apparently, his opposition to the bill is based on this:

"Opponents of the latest stem cell measure insisted that the use of embryonic stem cells was the wrong approach on moral grounds (emphasis mine) - and possibly not even the most promising one scientifically."

My question is: what kind of religion would rally against research that could possibly be used to cure diabetes and Parkinson's disease?

I can't imagine the Justice League working so hard against something that could save people's life and no one can tell me that J'onn J'onzz and Ray Palmer ain't moral. Even if such life saving research were made illegal, I doubt any of our heroes would even obey such arcane legal madness. You know Batman sure the hell wouldn't.

I just don't see how anyone could adopt such a strict and stingy moral code based upon someone's interpretation of an old mythology. I guess maybe some things should just never be let out of the cave.


Monday, June 18, 2007

Clear Your Own Name

Here's a passage to start your week from a chapter of the Justice League Unlimited scriptures called "Divided We Fall".

After Superman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Hawkgirl, and Green Lantern tell Batman and Flash that they must surrender themselves to authorities after an accident involving the Watchtower, Batman responds:

"This is the single, dumbest plan I ever heard. If you're feeling guilty, clear your own name. Don't stand on the sidelines waiting for somebody else to do it."

Thursday, June 14, 2007

"You Can Still Hear Our Song......."

We are the Borg

Lower your shields and surrender your vessel

We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own

Your culture will adapt to service us

Resistance is futile


*Dedicated to the late Reverend Jerry Falwell- wish I could say I was sorry you didn't make the cut and mean it. Oh well, shit happens.

Into the Abyss of Blasphemy in America

You are Batman

You are dark, love gadgets and have vowed to help the innocent not suffer the pain you have endured.

Green Lantern
Iron Man
The Flash
Wonder Woman

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz


I found this quiz and all of its characteristics a form of heresy to someone who takes our heroes from the DC scriptures so seriously.

How could anyone be as great as the Bat or Wonder Woman? We can dedicate our daily lives to the lessons handed down to us through the heroes of the JLA and the JSA, but none of us will ever quite make it to the same level of righteousness of great beings like Dr. Fate. People can try to be like Superman, but they'll never actually be Superman.

Plus, this quiz includes heroes from Marvel Comics which is equally offensive to a DC Comictician. Notice the way Spiderman, the Hulk, and Iron Man are tucked in between Robin, Green Lantern, and the Flash. This nearly burned my eyeballs clean out of my head. Clearly, America has lost its way.

But we must remember that this is America and all people are entitled to their own beliefs and the right to speak freely no matter how popular those beliefs and criticisms may be with the majority.

I would also like to tell you here today, that I harbor no hatred toward Marvel Comics and do not discriminate against their followers. But I do hope they realize that theirs are just comic books and not infinite sources of wisdom and truth. We must remember to hate the sin and not the sinner; for not all Marvel fans belong in Arkham.

So now I must go and kneel before the flat screen TV and meditate before the eternal glow of Batman Begins for taking part in this blasphemy. I shall also place my right hand on the sacred book of Green Lantern: Greatest Stories Ever Told and hope that the Justice League of America will forgive me for daring to make the false claim that I am Batman when, in fact, I'm just another mere mortal basking in the glow of Gotham City's Dark Knight.


Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The Real Star Spangled Banner

This is cross posted at Appalachian Greens. It's just a little something I ran through the universal translator over a year ago when some people got all pissed off about the national anthem being sung in Spanish. With all this debate over an immigration bill in congress, I'd thought go ahead and revive it and put it up here so we can all have something to be proud of this 4th of July.


Some people look around and they see poverty, war, inequality, environment and economy on the verge of collapse, and a multitude of other problems we all share. Then they get all worked up over flag burning. Brought to you by those same imbeciles, there now seems to be some controversy over people singing the National Anthem in Spanish. Oh, the sacrilege! Next thing you know people will be reading the Holy Bible in Greek or Latin.

So for those folks who have nothing better to do then worry about what goddamn language someone is using to sing the Star Spangled Banner, I'd like to take this opportunity to translate this classic American hit into Klingon.

Sing this proudly at the next parade you attend, it's your first amendment right and to the best of my knowledge this is the only "alien" version of the song available. All other versions are sang by humans beings in human languages.

Star-Spangled Banner (So' banner puv Dung puH)

toH jatlh laH SoH legh Sum po
nuq maH Daq may' wov maj
tIq 'oy'naQ QIDpu'
ghachmey je 'ugh Hov
vegh quv may' Dung yotlh vo'
may' maH legh vaj quv bIQtIQ
je qul Doq wov qul
Daq pagh nobta' legh vegh ram vetlh
maj flag ghaHta' vIHHa'
toH jatlh ta'taH vetlh
qul So' banner puv Dung puH vo'
HoS je tuq vo' quv
HoS je tuq vo' qul


Sunday, June 10, 2007

Religious Faith and Politics

The time is drawing near once again for another presidential election. And as the big day closes we are going to be hearing a lot from both major parties about God and faith. Hillary Clinton has already told us all about how the power of prayer and her faith in Jesus has helped keep her marriage together.

So if the candidates are taking questions about their close relationship to various mythical figures, I'd like to ask a few myself.

Will the new Sinestro Corps present a serious threat to the Green Lantern Corps and destabilize galactic order?

And which of four Green Lanterns would you most like to see battle Sinestro and his evil minions: Hal Jordon, John Stewart, Guy Gardner, or Kyle Rayner? Or would you, as president, call upon The Guardians of the Universe from the planet Oa to ask all four Green Lantern's to fight for earth in the event that the Sinestro Corps tries to take over sector 2814?

Do you also recognize the threat posed by the Legion of Doom? What steps would you take to ensure that neither Lex Luthor nor Gorilla Grodd got their hands on weapons grade Kryptonite, which would render Superman powerless should they decide to launch an assault on civilization?

Do you believe that the home of Wonder Woman- the island of Themyscira is inhabited exclusively by women? And if so, wouldn't that be a more logical place to find ways of dealing with a promiscuous, cheating husband than mere prayer?

And of course, there are also questions that need to be addressed about the possibility of an early Borg invasion or one from the Dominion out of the Gamma Quadrant if the prophets or wormhole aliens decide to open the wormhole next to Bajor a little early.

All of these questions deserve some sort of answer because they mean almost as much about a person's character and their ability to lead a nation as any questions about their personal relationships with the Bible, God, or Jesus Christ do.


Thursday, June 7, 2007

Those Who Believe in Absolutes Don't Know Catwoman

It is somewhat blasphemous to a DC Comictician when people out there keep insisting that there are absolutes when it comes to good and evil.

Selena Kyle, better known as the Cat or Catwoman, tells us differently.

The Catwoman has always struggled with the concepts of right and wrong and usually achieves neither in absolute terms during her quests for self-knowledge in the City of Gotham, nor does she care. And I tell here you today, that it is not fair to say that she only does what's right for herself in a hedonistic sense or that she is some sort of moral relativist- though it may seem that way sometimes to those less familiar with the DC scriptures.

We must remember that Selena Kyle took a serious blow to the head, which caused her some serious memory and identity issues. A mere mortal would have been unable to cope with all this, but the Cat took her experience and put it to work robbing precious jewelery and artifacts, while occasionally helping her arch-nemesis, partner, enemy, friend, and lover; the Batman, foil the Joker or some other criminal's master plan.

Now Batman, himself, also illustrates an example of a superhero who seems to struggle with right and wrong on occasion. But he's just plain fuckin' crazy sometimes and whether or not his crime fighting methods always meet with the approval of Gotham's police force, the Bat does think of himself as a vigilante for justice and believes himself to be protector of Gotham City's law-abiding citizens. Catwoman, on the other hand, would never make such a bold claim because it is clear that there are no absolutes when it comes to such broad concepts as justice and what exactly constitutes a law-abiding citizen.

So when you think things are simple; that moral issues only come in black and white or that good and evil can be easily defined, remember the Cat and the lessons she tries to teach us. With her guidance, perhaps we can come to terms with some of the very complicated issues that exist in this world and others. If we could all take a few minutes out of our busy day to listen, we might just hear the Catwoman roar.


In Our Dark Mirror

In the Star Trek scriptures (TOS Season 2, Chapter: 4), we learn from a transporter accident that there are other dimensions containing the same worlds and people; yet altered in some major way. You and I are there, but we are totally altered to fit the fabric of that opposite dimension. (The stories of Superman and the Justice League also illustrate similar strange opposite-like dimensions such as Bizaro World.) If we are to believe what Star Trek and DC Comics tell us, such alternate realities must exist.

So imagine for a second what these other dimensions might look like? Think about the alternate earth out there somewhere where your nature is almost the opposite of what it is here; where society is completely turned around? Imagine a dimension where the Aztecs invaded Europe followed by the Incas and other tribes from throughout the western hemisphere; practically forcing white people into extinction. Or perhaps a dimension where the janitor you knew in grade school is the president and the president we have now is a janitor.

From a socio-political perspective this is what I believe the United States looks like in one of these other dimensions:

*Big business is always complaining because their interests and their big, fat wads of money are being ignored by politicians; most of whom instead favor the interests of common working class people. Neither major party really listens to the CEO class; though the Republicans claim to represent them and for this claim alone they expect the people of the CEO class to vote for them every election cycle because they say they aren't as bad (aka- as working class) as the Democrats.

*The religious right is also ignored by both major parties partially because the media and television/radio pundits spend twenty-four hours a day painting them up as total quacks. The news media also serves to remind the voters that just like the uber-capitalist CEOs, they are way too far to the right to be taken seriously. Politicians from both parties heed this advice and avoid them like the plague. The Democrats blast them from the floor while the Republicans offer them a few kind words every now and then while making backroom deals with secular, working-class populists.

*There are a few alternative news outlets that support big business, religious intolerance, and unbridled greed by small-fry media personalities like Rupert Murdock. Murdock and others, however, cannot compete with the mainstream media conglomerates exclusively run by five international labor unions. AM Radio is completely dominated by hard-left commentators.

*The CEO class is tired of both major parties supporting fair trade agreements that force companies to treat all their workers in every country with respect. Some Republicans talk about supporting free trade agreements and the potential to exploit third world labor all over the world, but the majority of the party is controlled by the working class so no real political opposition to fair trade agreements exists. Consequently, fair trade agreements pass every other year in spite of the CEO launched protests at WFTO (World Fair Trade Organization) meetings around the world.

*A third party called the anti-People Party pops up to represent those who want unbridled greed legislation, forced religion, and unlimited wars for profit. This party struggles because of hurdles set up by both major parties (same as in our dimension). The Republicans are up in arms because this party poses a threat to their candidates who talk about unlimited war for profit, forcing kids to pray in school, and giving the rich everything they ask for, but then turn around and vote for peaceful resolutions and legislation that favors the working class. The Republicans go from state to state trying to knock the anti-People Party off the ballot so that the greedy warmongers and fundamentalist Christians will have no choice but to vote for them.

*Russ Feingold, Barbara Boxer, and Dennis Kucunich are the closest thing the Democrats have to the right. Right-wingers, who normally vote Republican because they have no other choice, often consider them as Democrats they might be able to support because these three congresspeople aren't as far left as some other members of congress whom the people from the right-wing absolutely despise like Senators Chuck D., Jello Biafra, and Noam Chomsky, House Rep. Howard Zinn, House Speaker Barbara Ehrenreich, and Senate Majority Leader Medea Benjamin. Mainstream political pudits routinely call anyone to the right of Joan Baez "the extreme right".

*Congress considers a bill to assist struggling coal mine operators due to the effects of another bill supported and signed into law by a former Republican president which cut the safety net out from under the executives of the coal industry. The "Help Coal Operators Eat" bill was introduced on the House floor by a congressman, who is considered to be part of the fringe right, after an airing of a PBS documentary which showed Don Blankenship eating out of dumpsters and other coal operators having to resort to poaching deer, racoons, and possums in order to feed their families. The bill could possibly pass in the House, but is widely expected to fail in the Senate.

*South Dakota passes a popular law to allow drive-thru abortion clinics and Oregon passes a controversial maximum wage law. Progressive states like Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Ohio, and West Virginia are expected to follow suit on both initiatives. Opponents of the maximum wage say they'll challenge it in court and many experts believe it will eventually get shot down. The Republican leadership remains mostly silent because they don't want people to think they're really closet conservatives. The Senate minority leader is a supporter of the maximum wage as part of an attempt by the Republican Party to shake off the conservative image that they believe has cost them elections for at least thirty years.

*The right-wing is consistently divided:

1) Rich people from different areas of the country often times can't work together because of their cultural differences. The South's right-wingers blame the backward Northern right-wingers for not rallying around their left-wing Republican presidential candidates every four years.

2) Rural black millionaires and urban white millionaires blame each other for wanting too big a slice of the pie. Fundamentalist Christians and corporate CEOs are constantly at each others' throats because they believe the people from one group are out to get people from the other. Whenever something comes up where the all the right-wing groups should obviously unite, they do so briefly only to be broken up again over differences like physical appearances, tastes in music, and the way people talk.

3) The media plays on all this. Every individual right-wing group leader wants to lead and everyone of them believes their way is right and the others' ways are wrong. All the groups on the right claim that one or more of the others are dragging their movement down and all of them are constantly consumed with the flames of infighting over whether they should support the Republicans or the anti-Peoples.

4) The larger group who votes Republican calls the much smaller group of anti-People voters traitors and spoilers. The anti-Peoples return fire by calling the Republicans sell-outs and cowards.

*Meanwhile; environmentalist organizations, labor unions, and civil and gay rights activists remain united when it matters the most and the Democrats sweep almost every election.

This is moderated version of something I posted at Appalachian Greens awhile back before the 2006 election.


Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Green Lantern, John Stewart, Tells of His Liberalism

In the latest issue of JLA Classified Green Lantern, "Square John" Stewart, tells us that he is indeed a liberal.

Upon the arrival of Kid Amazo, the Flash insists upon destroying the new cyborg villain and quickly so they can go out and get some dinner.

Green Lantern responds:

"You know I'm a liberal by inclination. But on this one... I'm with the Flash"

Our heroes from the Justice League of America later agree to try and reprogram the kid from Professor Ivo's evil plans because all lifeforms are to be treated humanely.

As Wonder Woman says unto us,

"Every sentient creature has the right-- and the responsibility-- to determine it's own destiny."


Sunday, June 3, 2007

Green Lantern Warns Evil to Beware

"In brightest day,
in blackest night
No evil
shall escape my sight
Let those
who worship evil's might
Beware my power,
Green Lantern's light!"


Saturday, June 2, 2007

Hey, No Offense

I have recently been under fire by a few people from the blogosphere, people whom I honestly respect, for having no ideology to back up certain political beliefs and/or social morals. I have studied religions and mythologies since I was old enough to read and rejected all of them as absolute sources of knowledge. Perhaps, it's time to change all that.

I'm going to try to become a fundamentalist. But.....

I wasn't born Hindu or Jewish and haven't been to church in about twenty years. I do not possess the mental discipline to become a Buddhist and I will not give up alcohol, which pretty much rules out Islam. I could turn to paganism or rediscover some sort of truth in old Greek or Egyptian mythology, but I'm not going to. Instead, I am going to base a set of fundamentalist values around DC Comics and Star Trek.

Actor William Shatner would undoubtedly say that I need to get a life like he did on that hilarious Saturday Night Live skit. He's probably right, but why ain't nobody sayin' that to all those people down at their local school boards demanding that creationism be taught in their public schools?

Was Jesus Christ the son of God? Was Captain James T. Kirk in command of the starship Enterprise on a five year mission to explore the galaxy? Both questions can be seen as legitimate or ridiculous or maybe even legitimately ridiculous. It all depends upon your point of view and how you perceive concepts like faith and science as well as your opinion on what constitutes fiction, fact, and fable.

It really isn't my intention to offend anyone with these writings, but unfortunately, it's probably inevitable. I feel that if someone is comfortable enough with what they believe, they have no reason to get all up in arms if I compare the lessons of Abraham and Issac to the lessons of Batman, the Green Lantern, and Captain Jean Luc Picard. But I also realize when someone has so much internal doubt about their own values and beliefs that they often have no other recourse than to lash out at people who don't share those values and beliefs. And I will say that I won't be too concerned if I do offend those fundamentally religious people who live in a bubble and take themselves and the world that surrounds them too seriously. In my opinion, those fundamentalist types are genuine clowns and the fact they don't realize they are clowns makes them even funnier.

I always wanted to try my hand as a clown, which brings me to this next point:

I am not entirely comfortable with this new religion. So it really does remain to be seen what my reaction will be when people try telling me that Barbara Gordon isn't really Batgirl, there is no Atlantis with Aquaman in charge and there are no Borg cubes from the Delta Quadrant on their way to attempt assimilating Earth. Will I concede to the idea that there may different interpretations concerning the Justice League's relationship to Lex Luthor or will I stand my ground and insist that there is no room for discussion or other interpretations? We'll see.

So the Garden of Eden or Gotham City; we report, you decide. Hell, I may even decide to match the Pope's annual Latin Christmas reading with a few of my own pronouncements (written in traditional Klingon).