Sunday, November 11, 2007

Fatwa #6 On Marvel Comics

The Elders spent all of yesterday praying, singing, rejoicing, and spinning in circles when a revelation suddenly hit them. They received a message through subspace from Starfleet Command on the need to modify a fatwa that forbids anyone who has discovered the Truth from partaking in Marvel comics inspired entertainment.

Fatwa #6: The First Church of the DC Comictician hereby permits you watch the following movies with the understanding that these are only works of fiction and not prophesies or literal stories from the only true Heroes in this dimension and others which can only be found in DC Comics:

X-Men United
Spiderman 2 and 3
The Fantastic Four
The Incredible Hulk

You may also look at Marvel comic books, but no more than two, throughout any given week of year. More than two glances inside of Marvel Comics in one week will be considered an offense to this church and everything in this Universe that is held True.

However, in order to assure our Heroes that you place no other heroes before them you must kneel, facing in the direction of Gotham City and repeat the following words: Bruce Wayne is the only true Batman and Robin is His partner.

Ghost Rider is still forbidden because of his close proximity to Legion of Doom member, Atomic Skull. Viewing such blasphemy will earn you nothing less than eternal punishment in the afterlife. The First Spiderman movie, the third X-Men, and Rise of the Silver Surfer are also forbidden for reasons that only the Elders can explain.

We thank our Heroes for being merciful and showing such undeniable leniency. Truly, they are the most generous of all Heroes. We praise their wisdom and thank them for being the loving, forgiving protectors of the dimension and others.


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