Wednesday, March 5, 2008

How to Battle Human Nature and the Original Sinister

The DC scriptures have so many things to teach us. Not only do our Heroes from the Justice League of America defend us against evil, they also instruct us on how to live our lives.

We were all born with the Original Sinister. It's unavoidable. We were kicked out of Metropolis and Gotham and ever since; each of us was born with the desire to don gaudy costumes and reek havoc upon the world. From the very first time we open our eyes, we are plotting to steal precious jewelry and museum artifacts.

The Legion of Doom knows this. They know we susceptible to temptation. They know that in our hearts we are arch-criminals. That is why Gorilla Grodd hits us with his mind beams causing us to do bad things and read Marvel Comics. That is why Lex Luthor spends millions of dollars creating an atmosphere of crime and evil in a world where people line up around the block to see blasphemous X-Men movies and watch false prophesies from The Fantastic Four, Rise of the Silver Surfer. The Legion loves blasphemy. They love crime. They love evil.

And so I say unto the Legion of Doom, Be Gone!

Be Gone, Riddler! Be Gone, Toyman! Be Gone, Killer Frost! Take thy evil from us and return to your swamp!

We shall not be tempted by your charm and your promise of world domination. We shall not waver. No! We shall not follow you down the path to Arkham Asylum. We shall defend ourselves with the Word.

For Superman saith unto the people, In the aftermath...I consider how closely we had veered toward utter disaster. (Trinity, Page 194-195: Frame 1)

And Wonder Woman tells us, I may never know who it was that came so close to destroying all that I hold dear. I am comforted to know that I now have comrades who would do anything to prevent that. (Trinity, Page 194-195: Frame 2)

Our Heroes truly love us. They hold us dear. They would sacrifice everything to save us from Darkseid, Bizzaro, Star Sapphire, and the most deadly enemy of all: ourselves.

The scriptures also tell us about the Batman.

He has no doubt that Ra's Al Ghul will someday surface to trouble him again. It has happened before. And so he continues the fight...for justice. (Trinity, Page 194-195: Frame 3)

Indeed Ra's Al Ghul will surface again for Ra's Al Ghul exists within all of us. Batman is a patient Hero, but he will not wait forever. Neither will Wonder Woman or Superman. We must resist the urge to become henchmen for the Joker and become Wonder Woman's comrades instead.

Superman tells us, "Part of me regrets the monster's pain. Even as the farm boy in me recongizes... a mad beast that must be put down." (Trinity, Page 190: Frame 1)

We must be ever so careful not become those mad beasts who would deny the power and love that is bestowed upon us by the JLA. Every time we peep into a Marvel comic book or turn on the television to watch Anime, we become like those mad beasts. This brings us one step closer to robbing that jewelry store that we've all been planning to knock over since we were cut from the umbilical cord.

The Truth is so simple and so plain. We must bring this nation back to the DC Comics values upon which it is founded. We must start placing our comic books back in the courthouses and force our public schools to pray everyday to the Justice League and put Superman's picture back on the walls. And we must do this before the real trinity: Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman decide we're all mad beasts and potential Ra's Al Ghuls and abandon us forever.



Malach the Merciless said...

What does Vigilante Adrian Chase tell us?

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Go ahead, Brother Malach, recite the passage for all those infidels out there.