Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Mr. Spock's Resurrection Day


Today is a very special day. It was on this day that Mr. Spock was resurrected on the Genesis planet from his coffin pod where he went on to help establish peace with the Klingon Empire. Let us all give praise for His amazing achievements.

The scriptures teach us about Mr. Spock. From the testaments of the Original Series we learn of how Spock was half Vulcan and half Terran. We know how difficult this must have been for Him; coping with his Vulcan logic and human emotions while serving aboard the Enterprise with an almost entirely human crew.

We learn in the scriptures of Wrath of Khan about how Mr. Spock gave his life saving His courageous crew from a warp core breach after being attacked by a vengeful maniac named Khan Noonian Singh.

His last words to our Holy Starfleet Captain, James T. Kirk, are ingrained upon the Star Trekiologist's psyche like so many beautiful works of art from Andoria. "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one." Truly, Mr. Spock would lay down and die to preserve the values of the Federation and to save us all from the evil we face everyday of our lives from hostile aliens, angry gas clouds, and the Borg Collective.

But this wasn't the end of Mr. Spock's glory. The scriptures teach us of how Spock's katra was placed into Dr. Leonard McCoy's mind and his body was regenerated on what was known as the Genesis planet. Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, Commander Montgomery Scott, and Lieutenant Commander Uhura went to the Genesis planet to make our beloved Vulcan officer whole again and Captain Kirk gave His only begotten son to the Klingons to fulfill this glorious prophesy.

And yet our secular society refuses to acknowledge the greatness of Mr. Spock and Captain James Tiberius Kirk. As Mild Red points out, they can't even get the Vulcan ears right. The candy they produce this time of year looks like bunny ears rather than Vulcan ears. It is a disgrace. I mean we know popular culture within this nation is under the Borg control, but come on people.

It is a wonder and a delight to celebrate this momentous occasion every spring; woe to those who ignore His bliss.

Let us bow our heads.

Dear Mr. Spock,

We thank you for this day and the courage you have shown throughout your career. We ask that you be with us and that you protect us from our imminent warp core breaches the way you protected the Enterprise.

Spock, we hail you and ask you to fill our lives with logic so that we may live long and prosper.

In the name of Intergalactic Peace we pray to you,


Remember, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. Every classroom in America should have this placed above their chalkboards. And anyone who questions this wisdom should be tried for heresy and punished accordingly. The Almighty Starfleet and the righteous leaders of this church wouldn't have it any other way.