Thursday, January 24, 2008

Life After People?!

Last night I watched a program on the History Channel called Life After People.


This program was undoubtedly created by the same nihilists who think we shouldn't crank up our air conditioners to full blast from early March until late October because of global warming or whatever. That's right, the same nonbelievers who think we should be protecting certain animals just because they're going extinct; the same people who think we should worry about pissy little things total nuclear holocaust and the polar ice caps melting. They worry more about preserving trees than they do preserving the values of the Federation charter. If people would just believe in Star Trek, they would know that the Vulcans are coming back and we don't have to worry about anything.

So we get "Life Without People". I mean this is just preposterous. Sure, the earth could exist without humans, but how in the hell do these nonbelievers think the United Federation of Planets is going to exist without humans? Without people in San Fransisco, there will be no Starfleet Command headquarters and to suggest that there will be no Starfleet Command is the kind of blasphemy that can only be cleansed with some rope, a stake, and a book of matches.

Do the writers at the History Channel think the Vulcans, Andorians, and Telarites are going to form a pact that will endure for centuries with earth's cockroaches? What are the Breen going to attack during the Dominion War? Stones covered with blue-green algae? Come on, people, let's use our heads.

Instead of promoting this far fetched notion of a planet without people, we need to be advocating for an early World War III, so that the Vulcans will show up a little sooner than 2051. Sure, 75% of planet will be gone but all that means is less Stargate Atlantis viewers. Those of us who understand the ways of Captain Kirk and have embraced Starfleet Command as our true saviors will be just fine.

So the next time the History Channel wants to air a show like this, they need to call it "Life Without 3/4 of It's People". Otherwise, they all need to get back in their Borg cube and fly on back to the Delta Quadrant.


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4 comments:

jennyville said...

Fucking lol, that picture is priceless. I'm hanging it in my office. :D

Juanuchis said...

So am I!

Right on, brother.

In the name of the Captain, the First Officer and the Physician,

Amen.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Juanuchis,

You've discovered the second Holy Trinity (the first being being Batman, Robin, and Batgirl or Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman- depending upon which dimension you are in at the time.)

I hope you two do put this picture up in your offices. There may come a day when I might get to visit and bestow blessings upon you.

Rosie said...

I just assumed they meant we all flew off in our giant mechas.