Sunday, July 13, 2008

Draft Dick Cheney for President

At the suggestion of Jennifer from Infinite Sphere, the First Church of DC Comictician and the United Federation of Planets has decided that Dick Cheney is the best man for the job of President of the United States.

We realize that he is Legion of Doom sympathizer, who probably gets his orders directly from Lex Luthor, and that he follows the plan of some God who can't even shoot laser beams from his eyeballs. But let's face it, Dick Cheney is a man of people. The U.S. hasn't had a vice-president this popular since Spiro Agnew. Plus he isn't a stuck-up, misogynist like Barack Obama. Hillary supporters ought to jump at the chance to write in Dick for President, since some of them seem so comfortable with the idea of supporting John McCain.

The biggest advantage we can see to having Cheney in the white house is that he is the most likely candidate to drag into some disasterous and bloody atomic war; hence giving those of us who have accepted the Prophet Gene Roddenberry's work as the literal truth a chance to get a little closer to the Vulcans.

We want a candidate who is ready and willing to sacrifice 3/4 of the human race for a world of ideology that is ready and prepared to embrace the arrival of Starfleet. Dick Cheney is our man.

So who's on board? Let's get those signatures together and draft a man who belongs at the helm of the US military (putting aside the fact that he dodged another less civilized draft). A man of sacrifice, a man of honesty and integrity, and a man who has redefined the words "living off the system". Draft Dick Cheney to the office of President of the United States.


Malach the Merciless said...

His physical body probably won't survive the election stress, but Malach has a solution you will like:

See remove his brain, and put it inside this Dalek like contraption, and then he fit the role he was made to play, the proverbial super villian, Brain in a Jar!

JDB said...

I thought presidents were limited to two terms? After all, he's been the one pulling the strings these past seven years.

Jennifer said...

I'm glad you followed my advice. The Vulcans will arrive much, much sooner now to save us from ourselves. Now we can just forget about doing sissy stuff like trying to stop global warming.