Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Firearms for Jesus

Question of the day: what kind of a sissy ass god needs AK-47s, M-16s, and 9MMs? Answer: apparently, the one out of the big black comic book called the Holy Bible.

Or so says The Register.

An Oklahoma baptist church has insisted it will proceed with its controversial plan to give away an AR-15 semiautomatic assault rifle* during a youth conference - a move described as "a way of trying to encourage young people to attend the event", according to local Koko 5 news.

Windsor Hills Baptist apparently has a history of worshipping God through firepower, and last year ran a shooting competition as part of its annual shindig. This year, it reportedly shelled out $800 for said trophy semi, but the church’s youth pastor, Bob Ross, claimed the main thrust of the conference wasn't about guns but rather "teens finding faith".

Anyone who understands the Batman's grace will shake their heads in disbelief. If the DC scriptures have taught us anything, it's that real superheroes don't need guns to fight evil. All they need are brains, strong determination and an absolute will to get the job done. Apparently, people who follow the plan of other superheroes from other comic books have missed out on this plain and simple Truth.

Well, most of time Batman doesn't use guns.

OK, Question time is over.


JDB said...

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!

Malach the Merciless said...

Bad Batman!

johnieb said...

Ya wanna get teen age boyz to attend an event? I got a one word answer: strippers.

Betcha can get a couple of nice ones for $800.00

And, to keep this non-sexist, we should note the boyz and a hunka Youth Minister will be a draw.

Jack Dorf said...

I blame the The Phantom . Ever since he arrived on the scene those Baptists have been obsessed with guns.

Jennifer said...

I think I may attend this conference and masquerade as a teenage boy. I need a new firearm for home protection. Is that a good use for an AK-47?