Friday, July 25, 2008

A Nation Tastes Righteousness

Batman detective

As we've said before, now is the time to bring people into the light and share with them the love that can only come from the Justice League of America through the scriptures of DC Comics.

So when you're out in public and hear someone talking about how much they enjoyed The Dark Knight, it would be a damn good idea for you to sit down with them, share your thoughts, and ask them a few questions. Here are a few suggestions for things you'll want to ask:

1) Do you feel you have a friend in the Batman? Is there anything we can do to help you get closer to the Caped Crusader?

2) If you were to die tomorrow do you think your soul would enter the Hall of Justice or do you think you would be headed for Arkham Asylum for all eternity?

3) Now that you've experienced Batman's love for humanity, have you also given thought to Batgirl and the sacrifices She has made for you? Have you considered how Aquaman keeps Atlantis safe from evildoers and the Black Manta.

4) And now that you have seen the glorious works of the Bat, have you offered Him thanks lately? Have you knelt down in the direction of Gotham City five times today on a freshly laid out rug and prayed not only to the Batman, but also to Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl, and Zatanna?

5) And if so, have you also remembered to thank Plastic Man, Hawkgirl, and Booster Gold. Have you shown any appreciation to the Green Lantern Corps for defending our liberties against the likes of Sinestro and Star Sapphire?

If they have answered no to any of these questions, share with them some passages from the Batman Chronicles. Remind them that the Batman tells us, "all criminals are weak and cowardly". When they ask how you define "criminal", be sure that they understand that it means anyone who doesn't obey the strict orders of the First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets and its leaders.

Folks, it's time to take our message to the streets. The Justice League is calling out to all the world and asking them to repent and confess their sinisters. The opportunity has never been this great to create a nation that will stand like a beacon on the hill for our Heroes in the Watchtower.

Superman was sent here from Krypton to save us from our sinsiters. Is it too much to ask that we give Him something back in return? I think not.

The time to kneel before the Martian Manhunter is at hand, people. If we stand together and follow His path, we will all be saved.


Malach the Merciless said...

Now that is a good Batsuit, not the crap they put Christain Bale in.

The Film Geek said...

Praise be to the Bat.

If now isn't the time, Reverend, nothing will bring the masses to the light.

Terrific sermon.

Juanuchis said...

What Malach and Film Geek said. You have indeed preached it, Brother.

Although, I must confess, I am most ambivalent about Robin. Please enlighten your humble servant on what purpose he serves...

Anne Johnson said...

When are the DC Comicticians going to come to my door on a Saturday morning when I'm trying to catch up on my sleep? That's what I want to know.