Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The One True Faith

The Elders were surfing the web in search of more Legion of Doom sympathizers, when they stumbled across a piece written by Pat Robertson's TV channel called the Christian Broadcasting Network.

It's nothing but more fighting between two sets of comic book fans. One reads about a guy who drank lots of wine and walked on water; another listens to stories about a man who had seven wives and liberated Saudi Arabia. Neither comic book has a single hero whom could battle Wonder Woman or the Green Lantern for more than three minutes (Spiderman has a better chance and that ain't sayin' much).

From the article:

"Saieg agrees with Saleem, that Islam preaches violence.

"When I see Sura 9:5, it talks about ''kill the Christians and Jews -- the People of the Book -- wherever you find them." There are over 140 verses in the Koran that talk about killing,' Saieg says.

Saleem says don't buy everything you hear about Islam these days.

"Muslims will say 'We're a people of peace -- we worship the same God,'" He said.


"There's a lot of anti-Islamic propaganda, especially by Pat Robertson and CBN and places like that," Ahmed said. "And I'm really shocked to see how evangelicals love to promote this idea -- that it's not a religion of peace."

Ahmed seems a natural for this debate. He runs his own Web site defending Islam, Examine the

"There's clear teaching to promote peace with non-Muslims. And those verses are not mentioned by these propagandists. And that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to mention those verses," he said.

But it didn't seem very peaceful when Muslims eavesdropped on CBN News' interview with Saieg then ripped into him for saying Islam was not a religion of peace.

There's an easy solution to all of this, put down those comic books and open your eyes to the real Truth handed down to us by Starfleet and the Justice League of America. Seriously, how can two groups of people fight over these so-called superheroes; superheroes without the slightest clue on how to command a galaxy-class starship or fire phasers or even launch photon torpedoes?!

Is Jesus Christ going to take down the Joker or the Borg by offering them forgiveness? Is Mohammad going to lead an assault on the Dominion with swords and some book he found in a cave? The answers here are simple. The sad thing is- when all of these folks end up having to spend eternity in Arkham Asylum, they're going to have to find a way to get along. (Or they may end up on a Borg Cube attached to one high mind- which would eliminate this seemingly inherent competition. It's not up to us to decide.)

So please, people, come on over to the First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of United Federation. When we're not out beating down our foes and dragging them by their hair to the Hall of Justice, we're truly a religion committed to peace and non-violence. One thing is for certain, all this bickering over whose comic books are coolest is going to serve no one except hostile aliens and those supervillains who have made their homes inside the Legion of Doom's headquarters.



Anonymous said...

Of course, the greatest irony is that those self-identified "Christians" who self-righteously point out the verses in the Koran that support violence are the same "Christians" who use the OT to support their anti-gay bigotry and who support the war against the islamobrownifascists (despite claiming to follow a peacemaker who preached turning the other cheek and loving one's enemies.

JDB said...

To be fair, Muhammad did move a mountain. Allegedly. Which is kind of impressive, when it comes to comic book daring-do.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Indeed JDB, but until someone proves to me that he can take down Darkseid and his dark army from Apokolips- I remain unconvinced.

Agreed, Ariadne. I have a hard time following the Bible comic book fans- their hero says to turn the other cheek, next thing you know they're wanting to bomb someone. At least the Batman makes no bones about his quest for vengeance.

Then again, Pat Robertson is known Legion of Doom sympathizer- which like John Hagee- might explain why he's sitting on a million dollar empire while his heroes clearly state that rich people can't get into their heaven anymore than a camel can get through the eye of a needle.

Two words can best be used to describe Robertson: Gorilla Grodd.

Anne Johnson said...

Muhammad moved a mountain? What's the big F*** deal about that? You give ten guys big bulldozers and an MTR contract, and they'll rip a whole mountain down to its roots.

I'm beginning to see the DC light. I don't think Muhammad would stand up too well against Green Hornet.