Monday, October 8, 2007

More Legion of Doom Sympathizers Exposed

Our Elders have made an another startling discovery in the search for leaders, politicians, and entertainers who are suspected of aiding or giving comfort to Gorilla Grodd, Lex Luthor, and the Legion of Doom.

Republican presidential candidate, John McCain, has just made the list.

In an article from the Associated Press, here's McCain:

"'I just have to say in all candor that since this nation was founded primarily on Christian principles ... personally, I prefer someone who I know who has a solid grounding in my faith,' McCain said. 'But that doesn't mean that I'm sure that someone who is Muslim would not make a good president.'"

"Later, McCain said, 'I would vote for a Muslim if he or she was the candidate best able to lead the country and defend our political values.' He added that 'the Constitution established the United States of America as a Christian nation.'"

What's missing from McCain's response? He makes no reference to Superman, Wonder Woman, or Batman. Nothing about the Justice League or the Justice Society. You would think that someone concerned about faith and political values would at least give a nod to Hal Jordon, John Stewart, Guy Gardner (Kyle Rainer is out of the running thanks to Parallax), and the rest of the Green Lantern Corps for working so hard to protect us from all the Sinestro Corps.

This, in itself, is not proof that McCain is an agent/sympathizer of the Legion of Doom. We understand that there are many people in this country who haven't discovered the Truth and therefore cling to superheroes with no powers of heat ray vision, no magic golden lassos, and no crime-stopping toys invented in the Batcave.

What our elders find disturbing is his jumping around from comic book to comic book. He says we were founded by Bible comic fans, then he jumps around to Quran comic books fans and fans of the comic book called the Torah too. Clearly, this is an indication that he has some connection to Lex Luthor and his organized band of criminals. Confusion and chaos are the ways of the Legion and it looks like McCain is doing their bidding. That's all the proof required for us to demand a tribunal.

In short, Mr. Senator, we want someone "grounded in our faith" too. There is too much at stake to allow someone who does not recognize the Man of Steel from Krypton, the Amazon Princess from Themyscira, and the Dark Knight from Gotham City as our true saviors against all things sinister to lead our nation.

All Praise Be to the Martian Manhunter for allowing us this wisdom.

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3 comments:

Betsy aka 'the goat yoda' said...

Hey Elvis, great blog! I got here through Rosie's blog- we are Brown Coats here and do Dragon Con as a family- old school fans you might say. Plus the goats......

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Thank you, Goat Yoda.

We're always here to help people understand the Truth and share the joy brought to us by our Heroes in the Justice League and the wisdom bestowed upon us by our Holy Starfleet Captains.

I love Rosie to death, even though I don't understand the mystic ways of Anime'theism. I have faith that one day she will discover the Bat and embrace Wonder Woman as her savior.

Anne Johnson said...

This was a nation founded on slave labor, which is why I am a follower of Slave Labor Graphics. All you big religions make me wanna hurl.