Thursday, May 8, 2008

The Mirror is a Gateway to Treachery and Evil Pt. 3

Today's Legion of Doom Awareness Awareness Week:

Do you have a mirror in your home? In your living room? In your bathroom? Your truck? Your purse?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you are worshiping a dangerous supervillian whether you know it or not. That dastardly criminal your subconscious secretly admires is known as The Mirror Master. Mirrors may seem like glass that cast your reflection back at you, but what they really are is gateways and portals for the Mirror Master to come through so that he can reek havoc upon all of civilization as we know it.

There is nothing cute or funny about giving homage this fiend who helped form the Rouge's Gallery to oppose our Scarlett Speedster, the Flash. While the Flash was out are saving us from our sinisters, Mirror Master was in cahoots with Captain Boomerang, the Trickster, Weather Wizard, the Top, and Captain Cold to try to put end to the fastest man alive.

Yet here people are with rear view mirrors, checking their hair or seeing who's behind them on the highway. Never once do these people stop to consider how much danger they're putting us all in. The Mirror Master could pop right out and kill the driver and everyone within ten miles in order to get to the Flash and seek out his twisted sense of revenge.

So if you want your homes free of evil, get rid of all your mirrors. Get rid of all the mirrors in your desks and pocketbooks. Smash the side mirrors off your car with a baseball bat and while you're at it- smash your neighbor's off to. This is the least we can do to help stop crime in our neighborhoods and prevent card carrying members of the Legion of Doom from gaining yet another advantage over the minds of our children.

And speaking of the children, I think it's high time we removed all the mirrors from our public schools too. What does are we trying to say to the kids when we so willing embrace the very symbol of the Flash's greatest nemesis. Like ice and ice machines, mirrors should not be allowed within a hundred yards of any school. After all, what is more important than the safety of our children?

So you've got a list of things to avoid and keep away from your homes:

1) Ice
2) Plant life
3) Mirrors

Two more days to go and two more ways to show how you can keep your home Legion of Doom free.


1 comment:

Malach the Merciless said...

Wow, I have enacted you plan and life is so much better.