Thursday, April 10, 2008

The Real Trinity

Okay, time to get back to preaching the Gospel of DC Comics and telling all you infidels how unpleasant your stay in Arkham Asylum is going to be. The other bad news is that you're going to have to stay there forever; locked up and sedated while everyone around you is crying, pulling their hair and gnashing their teeth.

Wouldn't it just be better to live by the DC Word and go to the Hall of Justice instead?

For the Batman told Robin,

Maybe Clayface is around and maybe he's not. But at any rate it doesn't hurt to look. We'll split up..... be able to cover more territory that way.

The Batman Chronicles 3; Chapter 49

I think what Batman is trying to tell us is clear: we need to put DC Comics back in our schools and elect representatives that reflect the morals of Superman.

Maybe Clayface is on your local school board, maybe he isn't. But it doesn't hurt to look and ask the candidates where they stand on saying prayers to Wonder Woman every morning before class starts.

Remember, Arkham is a dreadful place. In order to avoid it, you must submit yourself to the Justice League and acknowledge the fact that Superman was sent here from Krypton to save us from our sinisters.

That's all it takes. Belief, total submission, and a little bit of force and authoritarianism in our government. The benefits by far outweigh the cost. Are you ready to become one with the Real Trinity? Superman, Wonder Woman, and Batman. Or are you going to stray like lost sheep into the Joker's hands?


Malach the Merciless said...

Arkham can't be all bad, maybe I will have a threesome with Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy!

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Don't count on it.

They might lure you into a trap where the Joker will end up spraying poison or acid all over you from his flower lapel and that's about the closest thing you'll get as far as satisfaction goes.

It would be better to walk the straight path laid out for us in the DC Scriptures and join our Heroes in the Hall of Justice.

Anne Johnson said...

Did you say sedation? Arkham is suddenly sounding very appealing indeed.