Monday, March 16, 2009

What's So Wrong with AIG?

What's all the fuss over AIG about?

So we gave this company millions of tax dollars and they turned around and handed out bonuses. What's the problem?

People, this is called putting our money in the right place. Big multinational corporations need that cash. What are all those executives going to do with their time if they don't have a few yachts to play with? Can you imagine what's like to have to live in just one home without a swimming pool?

Let us pray.

Dear Superman,

Please be with the CEO of AIG. Let him enjoy the finer things this world has to offer because people like them worked hard to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

Please be with all the bankers and capitalists on Wall Street who make this country great. Let the currency continue to flow upward so that the money won't fall into the hands of this nation's less fortunate because everyone knows they'll just blow it on drugs and abortions anyway.

And please let those who have little understand that starving to death after being evicted from your home is not such a bad thing because a better life awaits us all in the Hall of Justice. We only need to obey our masters in this world so that we may enjoy the fruits of the next.

In Superdog's name we pray to you,

Amen

Friends, don't be fooled by the Borg Collectivists. In these times of trouble, the people who have everything they'll ever need have to grab a little more before it's too late.

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