Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Trapped on a Desert Island

A good friend and loyal member of the First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets, Buzzard Billy, has invited me and the Elders to a meme.

Normally, we here at the church are far too serious by the daily threats being advanced by the Legion of Doom and a new administration of Borg Collectivism to accept these challenges. But since its common knowledge that Billy carries the Batgirl in her heart the word of Starfleet upon her lips, the Elders decided that we should graciously accept.

It goes like this:

"Your ship has sunk. You have, of course, been stranded on a deserted island. You have salvaged a copy of the King James Version of the Bible and a copy of the complete works of Shakespeare. Nothing else. “The very next day you find one of those Arabian Lamps in the sand. Of course, you rub it and, of course, a rather grumpy Genie appears. “‘Let’s get this straight - there is a recession going on. There are restrictions on the three wishes now. I don’t do water or air transport now so no boats, planes or magic carpets. As for electronics, forget it. There isn’t the infrastructure on this island. “‘I can let you have one book and I mean one VOLUME, one essential item and one luxury item. Now hurry up and make your choices, I have to get to those five other islands you are going nominate."

This is easy.

First of all, the book would be The Batman Chronicles Volume 1. Because it is written that with the wisdom of Batman your belly will never be empty. Even stranded on a desert island, we must maintain eternal vigilance against the Joker and his bag of deadly toys.

We don't do luxury items for we live on the knowledge of the Justice League and Starfleet alone. But we will take a phaser rifle (which don't require no electronics) and a Klingon bat'leth; both for hunting purposes.

And you all know that we wouldn't be on this island long because no genie, no matter how grumpy, is as a powerful as a Galaxy-class starship or the infinite strength of Hawkgirl- who talks to us daily.

So there it is. Believing in the Five Pillars of Star Trek and the Word of DC Comics can do more than save your soul, it can save you from being stranded on a desert island. Need we say more on why you should deplete your bank accounts to make a donation to the church today.

(The Justice League strictly prevents us from tagging others, so if you want this meme- it's yours.)


Malach the Merciless said...

What? No Kryptonite?

Buzzardbilly said...

See, I just knew you'd get off that danged island too! I just didn't see Hawkgirl coming. How could I have missed that?

I shall say three "Hail Batgirls" and one "Joker, Joker, Skewered on a Poker" as penance.

Buzzardbilly said...

Don't know if you noticed or not, but your pithy political satire has been blogrolled by WV Blue. So has Appalachian Greens, too.

You're a stah, baby.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Thanks, Billy. The folks over at WV Blue understand the Truth offered to us through the daily readings of DC Comics as well as intense study of Starfleet's plan made plain through the Five Pillars of Star Trek.

But I should note for the record that our Starfleet Captains and our Heroes in the Justice League are the real stars. I am simply their messenger who delivers their good news.

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