Monday, August 27, 2007

Basking in the Glow of Evil

Our next exposed Legion of Doom operative is none other than famed hotel heiress, Paris Hilton.

A few months ago we suggested that Ms. Hilton seek out the wisdom of Hawkgirl to cope with her incarceration in the L.A. County jail. Our sound advice was rejected and now we know the real reason; Hilton has been working to advance the sinister plans of evil supervillains for years now. At first, we thought she may have been in cahoots with Catwoman, but as it turns out her connections to the Legion of Doom run much deeper.

Not only has she been spotted partying to all hours of the night with the Cheetah, Toyman, Clayface, Poison Ivy, and the Joker; she has also been seen sunbathing- topless- on the beaches of Bizarro World with Star Sapphire.

And then there's this from

"A settlement in a $10 million defamation lawsuit was reached Wednesday between the hotel heiress-reality TV star and diamond heiress-actress Zeta Graff.

"The trial was set to start Monday.

"In the suit, Graff claimed that Hilton spread 'vicious lies' about her to the media in 2005.

"In the suit, Graff claimed that Hilton spread the lies about her to the New York Post.

"The paper reported that Graff -- who once dated Hilton's then-fiance, Greek shipping heir Paris Latsis -- went 'berserk' at a nightclub, tried to strangle Hilton and attempted to steal her diamond necklace.

"Graff denied the report and claimed that Hilton said, 'I'm going to destroy you' after trying to oust her from the club, according to the suit."

Why would Hilton be be going after a diamond heiress by trying to slander and destroy her? To somehow obtain the precious jewels for the likes of the Riddler so that he can keep paying off Pat Robertson's disinformation campaign on the Christian Broadcasting Network.

We here at the First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets believe that any story that contains the word "berserk" and relates to an attempted theft of diamond necklaces is a clear indication of Legion involvement which calls for a national tribunal and a complete list of names.

Since the plan backfired on Hilton, most likely with the help of either Ray Palmer or Zatanna, it seems likely that her connection to the Riddler has been severed and she is now working with other supervillains to commit another heinous crime against humanity. Our elders will keep us up to date with any new information that arises.

Paris Hilton- Legion of Doom operative and sympathizer. Keep an eye on her and watch for more hidden stories about diamond heists and other secret acts of deceit and treachery.


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