Monday, August 13, 2007

There's No American Politics Without Religion

An Australian newspaper called The Fairfax Digital writes about how important religious beliefs are to American voters:

"Being an atheist is the biggest handicap a person could have to being elected as president in America — worse than being gay or a woman.

"Over 53 per cent of people surveyed by Gallup in February said they would not vote for an atheist. They would prefer a homosexual president (43 per cent said they would not vote for a homosexual) or a woman president (11 per cent would not vote for a woman). And it seems that these days being black or Catholic or Jewish is hardly a barrier at all, with each of these factors being named as a barrier by less than 7 per cent of voters."

Of course, it would be too much to ask for a nation with a separation of church and state clause in its constitution to consider religion a private matter.

Then there's Pete Stark:

"Congressman Stark had responded to a survey from the Secular Coalition for America that offered a $US1000 prize to the person who could identify the 'highest level atheist, agnostic, humanist or any other kind of non-theist currently holding elected public office in the United States'.

"To his surprise, that was him. Stark was the only one of 535 federal politicians prepared to admit he had no religion. For a few brief weeks he was the poster-boy for the humanists in a nation where, according to Pew Foundation research, eight out of 10 people say they have 'no doubt God exists" and that 'prayer is an important part of their daily lives'."

What the Pew Foundation neglects to ask is just how many people are aware that the Legion of Doom is preparing for its final assault on humanity, that the Sinestro Corps is striking devastating blows to the Green Lantern Corps as I write, and that the Borg are on their way from the Delta Quadrant to turn the entire planet into cybernetic automatons for a collective that would make V.I. Lenin and the CPUSA blush.

Perhaps this is where Congressman Stark could make an impact. He could be the first U.S. politician in American history to launch investigations into just how many of our leaders are on the Joker's payroll. He could demand the U.S. lead the way in building and maintaining a shield around Sector 001 so that we can offer the Borg a real surprise upon their arrival.

If the Justice League and the Holy Starfleet Captains have taught us anything, it's that faith and mere prayer alone aren't going to be enough to defend us against hostile aliens and the mind beams of Gorilla Grodd.

We here at the First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets invite Pete Stark and all members of congress to join us in standing for justice and embracing the values of the Federation.

Because without Batgirl and Jean Luc Picard, there can be no peace.

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3 comments:

Chris James said...

Looks like Lincoln and Jefferson would be S.O.L. now a'days...

Anne Johnson said...

And even you, Elvis, would get into Congress before an atheist. You may be on the wrong side, but it does sound like you have family values.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Indeed, The Batman Chronicles teach us that family is very important.

Where would the human race be today if Commissioner Gordon hadn't raised his daughter, Barbara, to ride around Gotham on a motorcycle while kicking some serious ass on the bad guys?