Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Kids Can't Even Worship Batman Safely These Days

(Click on the picture to your left for a full screen presentation- if you dare.)

CNN reports that a bunch of children's toys made by Mattel contain toxic chemicals:

"Facing its second toy recall in two weeks, the CEO of Mattel Inc. insisted Tuesday that his company has 'rigorous standards' and apologized for the global pullback of millions of toys.

"The toys were manufactured in China.

"The recall, which was announced by the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, affects about 9.5 million toys in the United States, and 11 million in foreign countries.

"It is the largest in recent months involving Chinese products, which have come under scrutiny worldwide for containing potentially dangerous high levels of chemicals and toxins."

If the media wasn't so busy with all this freakin' science that comes from the Legion of Doom's brand of secular humanism, they'd realize that it isn't just the total lack of safety standards that come from slave-world styled products made by children- age ten- for about a $1.25 a day. No! The Joker surely has his hand in this. This is pure logic, folks.

People need to realize; very little that happens on this planet is the fault of mere mortals. There are arch-criminals everywhere who tempt us with wrong-doing and negligence. They lurk under every bed and in every closet. Some of them tease us with riddles, some carry lethal umbrellas, and others wear gag flowers on their lapel which are loaded with poisonous gases. And since we are all born with the Original Sinister, we fall prey to these cowardly, evil minions of the darkness.

The media needs to stop focusing solely on the chemicals which are loaded into these toys and start focusing on the diabolical mind behind this act of injustice. Then maybe our kids can safely go back to worshiping the Bat the way they should.

Hat tip to the faithful Chris James for alerting the First Church of the DC Comictician and the Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets to this unholy outrage.

6 comments:

Chris James said...

I might have to lay low for a bit, as it is getting too hot around here. Rumor has it that Solomon Grundy and Blockbuster have been spotted in my 'hood since informing you of this nugget of information...

Elvis Drinkmo said...

It's a good possibility. Solomon Grundy may be a zombie, but he's a real big bad ass zombie.

Have faith in the Justice League, Chris. Superman and Batman don't let sinister acts go unavenged. We only have to believe.

Anne Johnson said...

When is the Church of DC going to rein in these doers of dastardly deeds? I mean, cripey. How hard is it to spot the Joker in the stands at a NASCAR race?

Elvis Drinkmo said...

It's not. But when the media over in one corner all hugging and kissing over Spiderman, it's pretty hard to get the word out.

Gorilla Grodd could driving one those cars and reporters would be standing around scratching their heads wondering where the Hulk was.

Rebecca said...

Very nice post!

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Thank you, Rebecca.

Spreading the word of Batman is a pretty thankless job sometimes.