Sunday, July 15, 2007

More Blasphemy in America- This Time It's Serious

Folks, I'm really worried about this country. I'm worried, I'm sick, and I just can't believe how far we have strayed from the Truth since humanity had to leave Gotham City. This is rapidly becoming a nation of criminals, non-believers, immoral hedonists, and Legion of Doom sympathizers. I've been aware of this nation's decay for some time, but this just blows my mind.

The Sci-Fi Channel is running a series called "Who Wants to Be Superhero?" and, of course, the host is that false prophet from the Marvelite universe, Stan Lee. I could not imagine anything more offensive to Wonder Woman, Power Girl, or Elongated Man than to take ordinary citizens and put them on TV to try out as "superheros".

Seriously, unless you're from Krypton, have had some kind of major accident in your lab which transformed your physical being somehow, have superior knowledge and wisdom mixed with a few cool toys, or were contacted by the Guardians of the Universe to serve in the Green Lantern Corps., you are an ordinary human being; cast out of Gotham (or maybe Metropolis, Smallville, or Central City). You should be spending every minute of your waking day giving thanks to the Justice League of America for keeping us safe from the wicked influences of Gorilla Grodd.

America has truly lost its way. The time to repent is now. Look up to the sky and thank our heroes in the Watchtower for not turning their backs on us the way so many of us have turned our backs on them.

I think the Joker may be behind this. He may even be working with Lex Luthor on a sinister plan to distract and hypnotize us all with this unholy TV show. If that's the case then we're in some fuckin' trouble here, people.

I just hope the Reverend Stan Lee and his Marvel-ous followers, who think that Bruce Wayne was just another resident of Gotham City, are ready to answer for their sins when we're all standing around in tears- saluting the dark flag of the Legion of Doom!



Anne Johnson said...

I want to be a Superhero! All hail Stan Lee! As soon as I can stuff myself into this undersized spandex Jersey Devil Super Suit, I'm off to audition!

Think they've got a casting couch in there?????

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Oh, Anne. I know you're a Marvel-ous person, but I beg you not to take part in this blasphemy.

It's not to late for you to avoid the wrath of Darkseid and Granny Goodness without Superman's protection. Please, come into the light and recognize the Bat as Gotham City's savior. It's not too late