Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Getting Back to the Basics

I hear people talking all the time about the need to get back to the basics. They feel that America has lost its way and turned into a nation of crime, sex, and drugs. And I couldn't agree more.

But their solution to the problem seems to be prayer in school, teaching kids about some old white man in the sky, and hanging the ten commandments in our public buildings. I fail to see how any of this is going to accomplish anything.

I hereby propose another alternative which should prove more effective: light up the Bat signal over every city and town in America. With Batman on our side we really can't fail, but if we ignore Him; He is most likely going to ignore us. The answer to the problem is clear.

Seriously, if we light up our skies with this great signal which the Bat hath handed down to us to use when we need His protection and the of protection Robin, Batgirl, and Nightwing, people will think twice before they do something wrong. Throw up the Bat signal every night and explain to our children what it means and watch them grow to respect the laws and common decency upon which this nation was founded.

This is just plain common sense, people. Lobby your city hall to bring America back the basics by showing Batman that Yes! we, here in this nation of Gothamites, still believe in Him and still yearn for His love and protection.



Anne Johnson said...

Now recall what happened to Aqua Teen Hunger Force when they tried to set their signal ablaze in big cities. I'd hate to see people thinking Batman was a terrorist. No, wait a minute. I don't care about Batman. I like Marvel comics. And I'm still waiting for Mothman's phone number.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Marvel's false prophesies do tend to prey upon those who would deny the truth- so I forgive you, Anne. I mean anyone who thinks Bruce Wayne was just another citizen and not the true Bat is worthy of a little sympathy. Plus, we have been told to hate the Marvel comic books; not the Marvel comic book fans.

I'm still working on the phone number, but it's proven pretty difficult. Mothman used to get tons of calls everyday from people who wanted to date him back when he lived in that old Mason County T-n-T plant so when he moved he decided to have an unlisted number

Anne Johnson said...

If you hate The Books, you hate the fans. Down with DC!

Elvis Drinkmo said...

No, we do not hate the fans. We realize the hold that Lex Luthor can have over people in order to make them believe in things like Silver Surfers, Incredible Hulks, and men made of Iron.

We can't blame the Marvelites for the Luthor's hypnotic ray guns, we can only hope that you'll open your eyes and discover the Truth.