Thursday, July 26, 2007

The Cat and the Dying

MSNBC reports that there is a cat wondering through a Rhode Island nursing home and laying with sick people as they die. Apparently, people who work at Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center think this cat can see into the future and know when a patient is about to pass. But we know the truth; this cat is probably working for none other Catwoman, herself.

First off, let us thank MSNBC and the rest of the mainstream media for covering great stories like this. It's wonderful that they can bypass all those meaningless side stories- like a war in Iraq that is getting worse by the day, the resurgence of the Taliban in Afghanistan, and the most corrupt administration in American history- to cover all the stories that matter like this one.

Afterall, I'd like to know what Catwoman is up to with this Oscar, the cat. Is she purposely sending people to their graves so she can steal their jewelry when their gone or is this some strange deed she has ordered the feline to do in order to help them in some way?

One can never know when we're talking about Selena Kyle. We can only hope that MSNBC will keep us informed with up-to-the-minute breaking news about this startling new development.



Anne Johnson said...

Catwoman's probably behind Paris Hilton and Lindsey Lohan too.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Yes, it's entirely possible that Hilton and Lohan are under Selena Kyle's influence, yet they seem unable to exhibit her grace and prowess- which is not surprising for no mere mortal could.

They both have rejected my call for them to seek out the teachings of Hawkgirl for guidance, so I'm afraid that their fate now lies with the Legion of Doom.