Fatwa #12: On the Easter Bunny

Ever since my grandson turned 1, I have tried to teach him about the ways of the Batman and have told him repeatedly that spider bites don't give people super powers. I let him know about the Green Lantern Corps and their fight against evil and that the X-Men were a bunch of groupies hanging around with some old guy who did too much LSD in the 60's.

But in a blatant attempt to undermine the DC morals upon which this great nation was founded, the Easter Bunny has been delivering baskets like the one seen to your left and they're filled with dangerous propaganda.

So, it has come down to this:

Fatwa #12

The First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets hereby orders the arrest and detention of the Easter Bunny for distributing blasphemous literature and heresy against the teachings of the only religion that is true.

We understand that bunny rabbits are among the most deadly animals on the planet, but this rabbit won't just eat all your green bean plants- he will also spread lies which will buy your children a one way ticket to Arkham Asylum.

All Praise Be to Star Man for bestowing the leadership of this church with such a profound sense of morality that should be imposed on the rest of the planet.

Update:

Because of the generosity bestowed upon the masses by the leaders of this fine religious establishment, we have heard the pleas of mercy from Buzzard Billy and have decided to exclude all West Virginian Easter Bunnies from this order.