Friday, April 24, 2009

Don Blankenship Speaks Out on Earth Day

Don Blankenship loves the earth. Just ask the people who live in central Appalachia how much of that love they feel when rocks and shit come raining down on their houses when Massey gets done dynamiting the top right off another mountain so his company can scoop out all the coal without the burdensome task of having to employ union miners.

Many people were wondering where Blankenship was during all the Earth Day festivities. After we did some investigating, we found that he did address a small gathering to profess his love for knocked down trees, filled in creek beds, and coal sludge in everybody's water supply.

Today, we're going to publish that speech. We aren't sure if he actually wrote it himself, but the just so folks he was addressing could understand what he was saying, it was translated into the gathering's native language. Consequently, the following is written in traditional Klingon:

Qatlh 'a' Parmaq Tera'

'A' parmaq tera' mo' tera' wob law' Huch. tera' 'em Huch. 'A' parmaq Huch.

Hutvagh laH voQ 'egh chaj 'op 'Iwghargh 'et 'un quD 'A' SaH neH jegh cho wogh Huch. 'A' neH je' a qum qoq West Virginia. 'A' jom pI' ngujlep lo'laHbe'ghach WV la'quv bo'DIj meqba' leS 'A' neH naQ pach.
Hoch 'ebmey tIjon.

'A' parmaq Tera. Bang bom DI' jor. nugh be' Hap. nuqneH. Huch. SuvmeH 'ej charghmeH bogh tlhInganpu'. 'ach 'A'. qa' wIje'meH maSuv. tIqIpqu' 'ej nom tIqIp lumbe' tlhInganpu'. tay'taHbe' 'Iw bIQ je. yIn DayajmeH 'oy' yISIQ. 'A' parmaq Huch. bIje'be'chugh vaj bIHegh.

tlhIngan maH!

DaHjaj SuvwI''e' jIH. nej Huch. ghIj qet jaghmeyjaj.

Thank you.


Malach the Merciless said...

Wow, did hill kill children while doing that speech?

Buzzardbilly said...

On a dream Earth Day, El Seed from The Tick would do an uncharacteristically good deed and suck Blankenship into his root system before The Tick and American Maid finished them off.

Buzzardbilly said...

Though I know you hate awards and memes and all those things that might detract attention from the important work you do here in this hallowed site, you'll have an award up at my place as soon as I finish writing the blog this morning.

venus said...

very interesting to read ....thanks for giving this kind of blogs....,thanks for sharing with us......

Wireless Home Alarm Security