Thursday, October 2, 2008

Beth Walker Will Protect Us From the Joker

The First Church of DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens gladly stands behind Beth Walker for the Supreme Court of Appeals here in the state of West Virginia. Hell, we really admire this woman. Anyone who can get up on TV and say they believe in some wimpy-ass hero called God who doesn't have heat ray vision or the tactical knowledge to lead a Galaxy-class starship into battle with a Borg armada has got to have something going for them.

Besides, we are convinced that Beth can rid this state once and for all of the Legion of Doom. These criminals she speaks of have been coddled too long if you ask us and West Virginia has become a haven for supervillains. Why do you think the Black Manta placed his new headquarters right off the shores of the Kanawha? With Beth on the Supreme Court we can chase him back to the Atlantic where Aquaman can deal with him and that, friends, is something worth fighting for.

I tell you, all these liberal activist judges who impose their values on everyone (instead of imposing ours) have got to go. Everytime a child is forbidden to pray to the Almighty Batman to keep his school safe from the Penguin and his deadly umbrellas, the Legion of Doom scores a victory at the expense of Justice League of America loving citizens like us. Beth will serve to protect our values and our families from Gorilla Grodd and his treacherous mind beams. Is their anything that could be more important than that?

We love Batgirl and we aren't afraid to stand up and say it in public. The activist judges who love the Joker and Lex Luthor's plan for world domination can't stop us. This what true freedom is all about.

Let the Christians tear down the wall between church and state and then we can replace their bogus philosophies, pictureless comic books, and weak heroes with the real Truth that can only come from DC Comics and the Five Pillars of Star Trek.

So if you're going to vote this year vote against the Legion of Doom and their attempts to drag all of West Virginia down into the bowels of Arkham Asylum. It's not just our state that is at risk; but our eternal souls that yearn to one day see the Hall of Justice when we reach the afterlife.


Preistlyish-like Hat Tip to my man, Chris James at A Sour Apple Tree for directing me toward the inspirational documentary above.


Chris James said...

I believe that Batman: Year One was colored in ink, not pencil.

I also believe that the court needs a good conservative, assuming that means that she thinks that "Crisis on Infinite Earths" was a huge mistake.

As for that "God" character, I hear Alan Moore is gonna re-imagine him as a recovered drug addict and former child prostitute who gains the ability to ignite bushes and carve tablets with his finger.

Malach the Merciless said...

I belive Beth is a Lesbian, that's what I believe.

Anne Johnson said...

Good luck ridding West Virginia of the Legion of Doom! I'll believe it when I see it.

Buzzardbilly said...

I believe that Beth Walker believes in making the rich folks who keep her family rich richer. It's trickle sideways justice.