Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Your God Can Heal the Dying? Give Us A Break

I was checking out one of websites of that Biblical comic book enthusiast, Dr. Pat Robertson. Afterall, despite all the nonsense these folks peddle, occasionally the Christians will put up a picture or two of King David kicking someone's ass. And while we don't fully understand their foolish devotion to a jealous God who does shit like flood the whole planet when he should be putting his skills to work stopping diabolical criminals from destroying life as we know it, we do appreciate their attempt to present their stories in a way that civilized people can understand them- with cartoon drawings and speech balloons.

But then I came across an article so filled with blasphemy and heretical thinking that it immediately was brought to my attention.

A majority of Americans believe that God can intervene when a family member is dying, according to a new survey.

University of Connecticut researchers found that 57 percent the people they polled believe God can save a dying family member. They also found that more than 20 percent of doctors and medical workers felt that God can change a hopeless situation.

The study also points out that doctors should respect families who are hoping and praying for miracles through divine intervention.

"Sensitivity to this belief will promote development of a trusting relationship" with patients and their families, according to researchers.

Setting aside for the moment the proven fact that God has never commanded a Galaxy-class starship or applied for admission into Starfleet Academy or even submitted his name to be added to the Justice League of America's roster, we feel that this is a blatant and disgusting attempt by the Biblical comic book readers to imitate the one and only Dr. Leonard McCoy.

The Star Trek scriptures teach us of how Dr. "Bones" McCoy could heal the wounded and sick against all odds. And yet here are these people out there praying to some God who's probably busy planning to infest some poor old farmer's land with a swarm of locusts, when they should be sending their prayers directly through subspace to Dr. McCoy instead. I mean who knows better about how to change a hopeless situation then the crew of the original USS Enterprise? God? I hardly think so.

Friends, we must remember what the scriptures teach us: Bones is a doctor, not a bricklayer. His commitment to persevering the lives of sentient beings is beyond reproach. Yet, so many fail to heed the Word of Starfleet and listen to the simple message that the Prophet Gene Roddenberry has tried to pass on to humanity.

So the next time you have a dying loved one in the hospital, tell the nurses to start yanking out the plugs and stop all the treatments because with just enough faith in the Truth that can only come from the Five Pillars of Star Trek one can bring the real Doctor into the office and only then will lives be saved.


sir jorge said...

it becomes hard to refute such claims when you have seen with your own eyes doctors confused at so called "miraculous" healings, and offer no scientific explanation.

I like the blog, it made me think.

However, we also must remember that a majority of this world are idiots...so it should be to no surprised anything that is labeled with any title.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Welcome, Sir Jorge. May Batgirl walk with you always.

We here at the First Church of DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets understand how such miracles occur. Dr. McCoy or perhaps Dr. Beverly Crusher have traveled back in time and healed them when no one was looking. There really can't be any other explanation.

The Film Geek said...

I couldn't help but smirk at the irony: in the Daily Mail, the story headline directly under the one you cite read "Child Dies From Model Helicopter Accident."

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Yikes. I better just let that one slide, Film Geek.

Malach the Merciless said...

I would prefer a massage from Supergirl

Anonymous said...

I used to have a Moses video game, which had Moses killing Egyptians and eating manna for power-ups.

Aphra said...

Well, if he can lower petrol prices, why not?