Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Scandal

Good evening,

As one of the acting deacons to the First Church of the DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets, I regret to inform you that the Reverend High Priest Elvis D. will be absent for a brief period due to incarceration.

The Reverend was apparently found last weekend unconscious and in an expensive motel room with Elektra and the X Men's Emma Frost. Police reports state the room was filled with large cash contributions, illegal narcotics from the Gamma Quadrant, a few Stargate Atlantis DVDs, Legion of Doom tee shirts, and a camcorder. There is also something in there about the High Priest allowing Emma Frost to dress him up like a Borg drone, but there is so much in this report to read, the church lawyers are attempting to skip over the small details and get straight to the legal matters.

We're sure that this is all just a big misunderstanding and we are certain that any jury will find the Reverend innocent of all crimes. So as soon as he is out or we can talk the warden into allowing him internet access, he'll back back at the pulpit telling all of you who walks with Batman and who is going to Arkham.

We appreciate your patience and your generous donations as we struggle through this time of need.

9 comments:

Malach the Merciless said...

Are you sure he just wasn't having sex with a picnic table?

Hoyt said...

I hope my stimulus check arrives soon for the Reverend's sake!

Anne Johnson said...

At least he stayed within his own praise and worship team when he decided to stray.

Wade D. Drasch said...

Actually, he was with the wrong team. Elektra and Emma Frost are from the Marvel pantheon. We tried to warn him of Marvel's growing influence in the West, but he wouldn't listen. We were afraid that he might fall pray to their temptations.

But this morning in his cell, we found the Reverend on his knees praying to Batgirl to forgive him of his sinisters. We believe he is filled with remorse and is currently on the spiritual mend.

We truly appreciate all of your prayers to the Justice League and your hails to Starfleet.

Anne Johnson said...

hail, hell! The guy is tarnished for life.

Jackie said...

Ha! I knew this was too good to be true! But oh well, what's a religion w/o a few scandals? :D

Myself, I woulda went for Hawk Girl and Huntress.... :O

primalscreamx said...

You just can't believe in anything anymore. Damn.

I guess I'm back to reading Dark Horse.

All Click said...

Strangely enough he'll actually recieve the longest jailtime from possessing the Stargate Atlantis DVD's which is a felony in 52 states and 6 dimensions.

johnieb said...

I'm just happy I seem to have gotten away clean; thanks, BG.