Monday, June 2, 2008

Know Your Aliens

This is for my friends Rosie and Ananke because our public schools are too busy teaching children useless subjects like math and science to teach the things that are really important.


To our left is a Bolian. They come from a planet called Bolius which lies within the Alpha Quadrant. Bolians are members of the United Federation of Planets. They have a tonic water which sooths the nerves and make an excellent tomato soup. Few people know this but Samuel L. Jackson has Bolian roots.


Next up are the Andorians. They come from an ice planet called Andoria and are founding members of the United Federation of Planets along with Terrans, Vulcans, Tellarites. Andorians have mean tempers and love to go into battle with their enemies. Like the Bolians, they are blue except they got antennas on top of their heads.



Lastly we have the green-skinned Orions. They are not Federation members and should be avoided at all costs. They are dangerous criminals and ruthless underground smugglers. As noted in the previous thread, the Enterprise scriptures teach us that the "Orion slave girls" are actually the ones who run the Orion Syndicate. The whole "slave" thing is just a cover, so watch out.

This concludes today's lesson on getting to know your neighborhood aliens. We here at the First Church of DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets are here to serve and to educate. As always, if there is any way we can help, please let us know.

6 comments:

Malach the Merciless said...

What about those damn Klingons

Rosie said...

Thanks so much for the enlightening article on the blue vs. green alien thing. The Orion slave girls are hawter, though, you must admit.

Jackie said...

mmmmm, Orions...

Juanuchis said...

Please continue with regular postings on "Know Your Aliens". I will be much more observant of my surroundings in future.

Jennifer said...

The second alien looks an awful lot like Samuel L. Jackson.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

It is Samuel L., Jennifer. His great gramma was from Bolius.