Friday, December 7, 2007

Putting Superman Back in Our Schools

People seem to think that the 1st Amendment to the Constitution prohibits us from teaching religious values to the children in our public schools. I mean no questions the fact that Superman is the Man of Steel, yet children would never be allowed to spend at least one entire school year pondering on what this means and why it is so important to everything that takes place in this world.

Well, here is what the 1st Amendment says:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

I don't know about you, but I see nothing here that says we can't force children to kneel down every morning and pray to Superman- at gunpoint if necessary. "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion". No, there is nothing here that says we can't take ten year-olds on top of a twenty story building and teach them to fly to the next one using a batcape that converts into a batglider. If they get hurt, well, it just means that they didn't have enough faith in the Justice League of America.

The 1st amendment says nothing about prohibiting Batman and Robin panoramas on public property for Robinmas Day. It says nothing about enacting laws that would require each and every citizen to read at least one DC comic book a day. There is no clause in that amendment which says we can't require people to swear oaths on the Batman Chronicles before they testify in court.

So what is the problem? Why can't we bring ourselves to admit that this nation was founded upon DC principles by people who practiced morals handed to down to us by the Martian Manhunter and JLA?

The answer is that the Legion of Doom has hijacked this country and used the influence of secular humanism as well as people who will always choose convenience over faith to advance their sinister agenda.

The sooner we all realize this the better off we will be.


Buzzardbilly said...

Indeed! We have been hijacked by the Legion of Doom and their millions of evil minions disguised as Wal-Mart shoppers. It's all becoming clear to me.

I believe they even have their eye on Alfred since he surely does all of the Wayne household shopping.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Good call, Buzzard Billy. We are dominated by the Legion of Doom. People everywhere are doing sinister things under the mind control beams of Gorilla Grodd.

The sooner we can put Superman back in the classroom, the sooner we can declare victory in this culture war.

Buzzardbilly said...

So where do Dick Cheney and Karl Rove fit into all of this?