Monday, December 24, 2007

The Pope's Christmas Speech in Klingon

Even though we think it is a total waste of time to follow anyone who can't pilot a Constitution or Galaxy-class starship and wore a toga instead of the proud gold and red uniforms of commanding Starfleet officers, we thought we'd share the Pope's annual Christmas speech. Since the Catholic Church isn't considerate enough to keep all of the galaxy's children in mind when they preach their false prophesies, we offer Pope's words to you in Klingon. Now if your first language is Romulan or Vulcan and you feel left out- go here to get your own translation.

Ram maH Qoyta' latlh Duy Daq. je maH vo' vetlh le' ram Bethle'hem ram ghorgh puqloD vo' joH'a' mojta' loD ghaHta' bogh Daq je. Ghorgh puqloD vo' joH'a' mojta' loD ghaHta' bogh Daq a stabl.

Daq vam Sagh jaj Duy pa' maH loDpu' je be'pu' vo' wejDIch milli'nni Daq. Ghotpu vo' DaHjaj qo' ghobe' Daq chaw' ghaH 'el chaj chaj vengmey chaj tuqpu'. Daq Tera'! Daq milli'nni je Daq ghaHta' chenmoHta' Daq vo' je scie.

DaHjaj maH laH vo' vast 'ach loDpu' je be'pu' Daq maj te'chkologic vo' chaj ghaj je t'chnikhal Dung Daq je vo'. Vetlh ghaH qatlh 'oH ghaH vaj vaD maH Daq poSmoH maj je tIQDu' Daq vo' Khrist vam vo' toDtaHghach nuq laH nob chu' tul Daq yIn vo' Teran'.

Sum knI'cking Daq maj lojmIt ghaH maH je maj ghaH khalls maH Daq chay' maH je yIn maj. GhaH leghpu' awak vo' meq vo' s tera. Vo'. Daq Khrist'mas HoSghaj puq je aks vaD maj QaH je. Daj way vo' vetlh ghaH ghaH joH'a' maj way vo' taH teran.Wak Dung toH loD vaD lIj chIch joH'a' mojta' loD!

Hutlh wov vo' Khrist wov vo' meq ghaH ghobe' Daq teran je.

VaD vam meq mu'mey vo' Khrist'mas Gospl: wov vetlh Hoch loD ghaHta' choltaH Daq vam qo'. DaH latlh vo' salvat. 'oH ghaH neH Daq vo'. Mu' chenmoHta' ghab vetlh vo' tera ta'taH ghobe' tire vo' vam vo' tul Sum cha'DIch Vatican nuq loSmaH DISmey ago.

LoDpu' je be'pu' vo' DaHjaj Teran' ghoS vo' vIHHa' vaj. Daq yab je DichDaq chaw' puq vo' Bethle'hem tlhap SoH Sum ghop ta' ghobe' taHvIp lan lIj voq Daq ghaH. HoS vo' Daj wov ghaH vaD chu' qo' Daq je.

May Daj muSHa' Hoch ghotpu Daq tera' je chaj vo' taH qorDu' ja' Daq vo' voq je. Klingons DichDaq taH laH Daq law' vo': vo' vo' Daq Daq nuq vo' Teran ghotpu' yIn vo' vo' Daq je QIH nuq vo' maj Qo'nos.

JoH'a' 'Iv mojta' loD pa' vo' muSHa' vaD Teran Hoch chaH Daq Afrik'ha 'Iv vum vaD roj je vo' vaD vo' vIHHa' je vo' HochHom vo' chaH chaH Daq [Darfur] je Daq latlh vo' Afrik'ha. GhaH Dev ghotpu' vo' Latee Amerik'ha Daq yIn Daq roj je. GhaH Daq ghotpu vo' QaQ DichDaq Daq le' puH Daq Irakh Daq Lebanon nuqDaq vo' tul nuq 'oH ghobe'. Daq taH Sum vangta'ghachmey Sum je valtaHghach ghaH vo' Daq Qorean peninsulak je Daq vo' Aseyah vaj vetlh Sum vo' je "peeezzzful" laH taH Daq qa' vo' nuq chaj ghotpu'.

Daq Khrist'mas maH joH'a' chenmoHta' loD batlh bIng vo' puq Daq je Daq manger vo' Hoch Daq vo' neoQb. MaH vam maH vIt vetlh maH je muSHa' vetlh maj. Daq Bethlehem ram wa' vo' maH maj Hemey vo'. Chaw' maH tlhap ghop nuq ghaH pa' Daq Klingons:'oH ghaH ghop nuq Daq tlhap pagh vo' maH 'ach neH Daq.

Tlhej chaw' devwI maH 'el vo' Bethle'hem bIng muSHa'taH vo' Ma'ry tam vo' Daj. GhaH QaH maH Daq vo' Khrist'mas [may] ghaH ghojmoH maH chay' Daq Daq maj tIQDu' vo' joH'a' 'Iv vaD maj chIch mojta' loD je ghaH QaH maH Daq SIQ Daq maj qo' Daq Daj vIt Daj muSHa' je Daj "Peeezzz".

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7 comments:

Mister Scott said...

i can think of no better time but during this holiday season to convert to star trekology... this post seals the friggin deal!

Aphra said...

Makes sense in Klingon.

Buzzardbilly said...

A new convert!

It's like watching the birth of a movement.

Juanuchis said...

Feckin' brilliant!

jennyville said...

Merry Christmas, Drinkmos and Oren!

Anne Johnson said...

What kind of pope needs a translator for this? He should friggin speak Klingon. Happy holiday to Elvis and the Moth Man -- a little family get-together planned?

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