Saturday, September 25, 2010

Return from the Other Side

It has been a little over a year since a beam out accident at one of our houses of worship caused my disappearance. And upon my return what do I see? The world- still a cesspool filled with evil, blasphemy, sinisters, Marvel Comics, and a fall TV lineup that doesn't bother to include any new revelations from the Five Pillars of Star Trek.

But, friends, I didn't just come back here to tell you how you're all doomed and probably headed straight for Arkham Asylum. No. There are a few events which have forced me to return and point my finger at everything which is wrong and unrighteous. You see unlike Fox News, we report and we decide. And unless you fathom the thought of having your arms and legs ripped off to be replaced with Borg technology you best fall in line.

Afterall, we have the 2010 elections coming up. Everyone knows that President Barack Obama has destroyed everything of value within two years and singlehandedly torn down the entire American economy. But instead of trying to right all these wrongs people have chosen to nominate people like Christine O'Donnell who foolishly believe all our problems can be solved by this guy named God who has no heat ray vision and his long haired son who has never logged in any time as a starship commander. She may be on target about masturbation being one of the most serious problems we're facing today, but she has admitted being involved with witchcraft which means her morals are probably closer to those of Silver Banshee rather than the Truth which can only be found within the Word of Superman.

Let us turn to the Batman Chronicles, Volume 1 Chapter 36 Frame 25:

An electrical engineer disappears... an unusual fog covers the city.... the first names on the little book's list are robbed and a dying man utters the sinister name of Professor Hugo Strange.

You see. I think it's obvious the Caped Crusader is trying to tell us that we cannot repeal those tax cuts on the rich without turning our public schools into a hotbed for Legion of Doom activity.

Hawkgirl is always watching you and She knows what you're doing. Be very careful about what you do in these upcoming days. We'll be here every Wednesday night and Sunday morning until courthouses start getting serious about fighting crime again by putting up the Batsignal above all public buildings.


primalscreamx said...

Welcome back to the gang. Your chair is still warm.

Elvis Drinkmo said...

Thanks, my man!

May Aquaman Bless You Always.