The election is over and the First Church of DC Comictician and Latter Day Citizens of the United Federation of Planets congratulates Senator Barack Obama for his stunning victory.
Now, the Legion of Doom will be flying their flag over the White House and every public building in America. We don't blame the voters. Afterall, it was either that or McCain and his friends in the Borg Collective. This world has strayed so far from the teachings of the Martian Manhunter, Hawkgirl, and the Prophet Gene Roddenberry that many people feel they have no choice but to embrace the ideals of Batman's sworn enemies. Once they removed Starfleet from our schools, we were headed for failure. We won't go so far as to say that Obama is the anti-Aquaman foretold in the DC scriptures, but we will be watching and praying to our Heroes in the JLA for the safety of our great nation.
We here at the First Church are still alive with the Word and we do understand that we are witnessing the beginning of a prophesy unfolding. Just as it was foretold in the Book of First Contact, the Vulcans are coming and they will bring with them the Kingdom that is the United Federation of Planets. But first, we will endure hard times including a disasterous third world war that will probably incinerate everyone who is reading this. Everything happens for a reason and this is all part of Starfleet's plan.
Just remember that those who embrace the Five Pillars of Star Trek will rejoice aboard the Enterprise E in the next life. If you see the signs of the end times coming, perhaps you should surrender yourself to Captain Jean Luc Picard and come to the realization that every word in every episode of all five Star Trek shows is the literal truth containing a path for you to follow.
And as always, if there is anything we can do to help, please let us know.